LawyerLow Diaries

Mondays? Nobody likes them anyway! Sadly a bit of a write off of a day in the Low household but I suppose it is good to get it out of the way at the start of the week. I’m confident tomorrow will be a better day. 
I was in the office again today and whilst that was productive I missed the kids so much. We’ve been talking about how the kids will cope when they go back to school/nursery but after today’s experience I’m increasingly worried about how I will cope! They are learning to be really good at leaving me alone for long periods when I am #RemoteWorking but I can always hear their laughter just faintly in the background and it’s very comforting. I’m adamant I don’t want to lose this level of relationship with my little tinkers in the future. 
Anyway, enough of the soppy chat and onto the top 5 which I just about managed to scrap together:

1. Steph had the urge to do some home baking today and I was never going to dissuade her! I think she went a little pastry mad, knocking together some hot dog sausage rolls and chocolate parcels. Daddy missed out at lunchtime but my lucky offspring got to sample the delicacies in my sample. Steph put some down on their plates and when she turned back they had completely demolished them. I mean, just inhaled them! I can now confirm that they were very tasty, and E has now declared that she only likes hot dogs if they are in pastry. We’ve discovered the dark side of home baking! 🌭
2. Today’s movie was Ratatouille. The three of them settled down to watch however E then decided she didn’t actually want to watch it and so headed upstairs. 5 minutes later she came back down and explained to Steph that she was lonely so she needed M to go upstairs with her to play. And so off they went and apparently only came back down to watch the last 10 minutes. I’ve asked Steph what she did given she had some peace and quiet for a while. Apparently she just watched the movie because “it’s great” and “it’s Disney”! And here was me thinking it was E picking all the films! 👨‍🍳 
3. #HomeSchooling was a bit of disaster today. I’ve seen so many social media posts explaining how much children are getting through each day. I’m guilty of that myself on the days where E has smashed it. But let’s get real! For every high day there’s a low day and it doesn’t get much lower than a point blank refusal to do any schoolwork at all. All day. I managed to coax her into reading with me this evening on the basis she didn’t realise it was anything to do with school. She just wanted to know what happened to the Croc who slept in, needed new shoes, missed the bus and almost missed her own birthday party all whilst suffering from a pretty serious case of hiccups. I won’t spoil the end for you! I’m taking that a win, a small win but a win nevertheless! 🐊 
4. When I came home from the office my kids were waiting to greet me having clearly trashed the living room just before my arrival. After finding out about their day, I started cooking their tea and told them to go and start tidying up the living room. M trotted off whilst E stuck her hand on her hip (her lockdown signature) and rolled her eyes. “Do we have to Daddy?” 
“Yes sweetie, I’m not doing it so you may as well get on with it.”
“Just call me Cinderella. All I do here is clean up and never get to do what I want to do.”
Oooooh, the cheek! She doesn’t know she’s born! But of course I responded in an entirely appropriate and fatherly way:
“Well you’d better get on with it before your Fairy Godmother arrives to get you ready for the ball!” 🧚‍♀️
5. Monday has definitely turned into yoga night. A few important lessons I learnt today, with very little explanation needed! Don’t try and do a yoga session which starts 5 minutes after you’ve finished a run. Don’t give in to your daughter and let her join in rather than sending her back to bed. Don’t ever think you can channel your inner goddess better than your 5 year old. If you do let you daughter join in make sure she stays on her mat rather than walking around, lest she stand on her Mammy’s hair causing some very un-Yoga like language. 🤬

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Intermittent heavy showers? Why not for the last Sunday in June. Perfect weather for the start of a new running challenge (more below). 
After last night’s post, imagine my surprise when I was dispatched to the shop this morning to buy some medicine for Steph. By medicine I do, of course, mean wine. Lots of wine. It was to go with a lovely Sunday roast which she made for us all – Sundays often remind me of the main reason I married her. She makes the most amazing Yorkshire puddings! Now of course there are other reasons too, but between you and me dear reader, the Yorkshire puddings definitely clinched the deal!
So what did the Lows get up to today? Read on for the details of the top 5:

1. After completing my running challenge earlier on in lockdown, I’ve been using my leg injury very much as an excuse to avoid running very much. That is no good at all, especially when Steph is well on with her own C25k challenge. So following the postponement of the Great North Run this year, I have instead signed up for the GNE Solo which requires 40 runs over the next 78 days. This morning was a nice easy start to get the legs warmed up again. I can’t believe both of us were out running before 8.30am on a Sunday morning. How life has changed over the last 103 days! 🏃‍♂️ 
2. Today’s matinee at our home cinema was Toy Story 4. Any excuse for Daddy to dress up as Buzz Lightyear and no, definitely no photos available for your delectation! This was quickly followed by the delivery of an extra birthday present for M. He loves his new basketball hoop but particularly loves the cardboard box it came in. Kids are so funny like that. It also came with a set of multicoloured hoops and a football. He’s on cloud 9 – he’s even ignored his jigsaws so he could play with it all. 🏀 
3. I am delighted to report that this weekend was finally the weekend we got some jobs ticked off the house task list. We had a bit of a false start last weekend when we started on E’s bedroom but gave up as it was just soul destroying. We summoned up the courage and attacked both the kids’ bedrooms this afternoon and absolutely smashed it! Toys and clothes sorted, rearranged, tidied and bin bags filled. As Steph has just said, “doesn’t it give you a sense of achievement?” I dutifully replied with “yes, it’s so good to get it done” whilst thinking that I couldn’t think of anything worse than to spend my Sunday afternoon tidying bedrooms. Do that make me a bad man, or the same as every other man (or is that the same thing)? 😳
4. E is a big fan of hot chocolate and tries to wangle at least one every day. She isn’t stupid and knows that a proper hot chocolate involves squirty cream and marshmallows. Given that she has been really good today she got to have one tonight before bed. I walked into the kitchen just as Steph was asking “How do you want your hot chocolate?” I assumed E was going to reply with “squirty cream and marshmallows” but instead she trotted out what was quite possibly my favourite answer ever given in this house, “Hot Mammy!” When coupled with a look of expectation and a hand on the hip, I do worry what we have created! ☕️
5. Early to rise, early to bed! The kids still refuse to accept that long lies on a Sunday morning are perfectly acceptable. I don’t mean sleeping until lunchtime, but even until half 7 would be a treat. Instead they were both up even earlier than normal. M refused to nap this afternoon so we ended up with two shattered little ones this evening. Bless M came out of his bath at 6pm and fell asleep on my lap in his towel. I can’t believe I dressed him and he stayed completely flat out. E wasn’t far behind which has meant Steph and I have had the longest evening, just the two of us, in the whole of lockdown. I’m hoping we haven’t set a cycle in motion and it’s another early start tomorrow! 😴

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Well the storm clouds gathered and the heavens opened this morning. Fortunately Steph’s mood improved as the day progressed and we were safe to venture out of our rooms by lunchtime. 
I am, of course, joking and it was another day in paradise where the kids kept us entertained rather than it being the other way around. As has become tradition, Saturdays start with us listing all the things we need or want to get done during the day and finish with me writing my diary wondering where the day has gone and feeling disappointed that very little on the to do list has been ticked off.
The heavy rain did curtail any desire to head out and about and so a lazy day at home was in order.
A bit of a random mix in the top 5 today but lets take the plunge together:

1. I start with hugely exciting news. Apparently the lockdown in Durham has been declared as over and we can go back to our normal lives. I mean, I missed the announcement myself, but having ventured to the supermarket for the weekly shop this afternoon it is quite clear that everyone else has heard something I haven’t. No face masks, no social distancing, all usual protocols like the one way system ignored and no attempt to enforce by the staff. I think everyone is just fed up especially when we see so many pictures on the news and social media showing lots of people gathering in large groups. I have been very careful not to use my diary as a platform to share my personal views on lockdown and I’m not about to start. I just ask people to think about what they are doing and keep themselves, their families and all the rest of us, as safe as possible! 🦠 
2. I’ve also made a quite distressing discovery today. It’s common knowledge that alcohol sales have skyrocketed during lockdown as people are drinking more at home. We have been no different – I challenge any of you to look after our two darlings 24/7 without turning to the bottle pretty quickly! Our recycling bin is testament to that! But this isn’t a short term situation so we have made a conscious effort to try and drink responsibly and reasonably. This has meant I’ve been trying not to buy any booze as part of the weekly shop, and managed to achieve that again today. The idea is we will drink down our supplies rather than topping them up. My discovery is that whilst we have finished a number of bottles of spirits and not replaced them, we seem to have just moved onto a whole pile of miniatures we found at the back of the sideboard. Mounds of tiny empty bottles are now gathering in the kitchen – I worry if this continues we’ll be left to move onto some of the more obscure bottles in there. Anyone know what to drink a 10 year old half empty bottle of Curacao with? 🧉
3. The dressing up continues and today E wanted to be a fairy princess. Now I didn’t know fairy princesses had unicorn horns but then again there is a lot I don’t know. What I also didn’t know was that fairy princesses, just like superheroes, have sidekicks who get to follow them around. In E’s case her sidekick is a butterfly who has the most beautiful wings and he runs around in circles at high speed. M absolutely loved being part of her game and really took to his new role with vigour and passion. It’s going to be quite an experience when he takes to the stage for school plays in a few years. I’ve no idea how I ended up with two such extroverts for kids! 🦋 
4. As part of the make believe games, E was going around granting wishes. She appeared in the living room with her wings and fairy wand and asked me what I wished for. I said “for my gorgeous daughter not to be stroppy for the rest of the day.” She waved her wand and my wish was granted. Reflecting on it now, it did actually come true and she’s been great ever since that moment! Mammy then wanted to know why she didn’t get a wish. And so it became her turn and she said “to have a tidy living room.” Cue the eye roll from the fairy who announced, “but that’s just tidying up and not a proper wish.” She then turned on her heel and marched out of the room. Jeez these fairies are more difficult in real life than you see in the movies! 🧚‍♀️ 
5. As always, Saturday night is also quiz night here with our back to back quizzes. I’m trying to work out if the questions are getting easier or if people’s general knowledge is getting better because of all these online quizzes! Either way, it’s been a fabulous way to keep in touch with friends and family in a very relaxed and sociable way. Who knows whether this will be the last Saturday with such decent numbers as the pubs begin to open from next weekend. I hope not as there seems to be a way to go still and I’m not sure what I’ll do when the quizzes stop. I need some outlet to share my new found knowledge of obscure flags, airport codes and hits of the 1970s! 🤓

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Thank you all so much for your very nice comments and messages. It’s lovely to know the mundane goings on in the Low household manage to entertain so many people!
Like a lot of people we spent today waiting for the thunderstorms and were sorely disappointed. Well actually I was, but Steph was quite relieved as she isn’t a big fan of the old thunder and lightning. So basically it ended up being quite a nice day but I suspect we won’t be so lucky tomorrow with 90% chance of rain most of the day. 
We definitely have the Friday feeling here and I hope you do too!! What made the top 5 though, I hear you cry? Read on to find out:

1. There was a stand out event today which I’ve been looking forward to all week, and it certainly didn’t disappoint. I was invited to an online whisky tasting session which started at 3.30pm. It was introduced as a nice, easy start to the weekend but with hindsight I think that was just a euphemism. My box of samples arrived a couple of days ago but I didn’t open it until this morning just in case I was tempted. I ended up with 5 bottles, each containing well over a double. By the time the tasting part of the session started we had just over half an hour so there was a lot more chugging going on than one should really do with whisky. It was really very good but it was strange doing it on a video call with 21 other people. Trying to get everyone to mute at the start was definitely a challenge. I was then extremely concerned by the guy who had opened all his bottles and knocked them back before the introduction was finishing. We were then treated to his webcam being directed at his crotch for half an hour before he logged off. These remain challenging times. 🥃 
2. We had another relatively early start this morning with M making his weird wake up noises far earlier than he should do. I dragged myself out of bed and went to check on him. He was bloody delighted! You would think I’d just bought him a car or something. The only thing I was shocked about was the fact that when I checked on E she was still flat out. Whilst the rest of us slowly brought ourselves out of our slumber, M was putting together jigsaws, had his milk, juice and breakfast, watched two episodes of Bing whilst also watching Hey Duggie! on the iPad at the same time and had laughed 3 times (that I heard) as he launched his morning pumps. I sometimes wish I could be a 2 year old again! 🥱
3. After his second breakfast, M demanded a third and the only thing I was willing to offer was a banana. He does love a banana in the morning. Unfortunately he refuses to eat it in the kitchen and laid it perfectly in a bowl and carried it into the living room. By this point I’d already given up with him and let him go. Big mistake. I knew it was a big mistake but I didn’t care. He soon made me care. Now how a little boy can cause so much carnage with just a banana is beyond me. He appeared to try and suck it like an ice lolly but as he clutched it with both hands it slowly disintegrated. He then (for reasons only known to himself) started to smear it all over his arms, his legs, his feet, the couch, the floor, the wall and the coffee table. If he wanted a banana smoothie he could’ve just asked! So fed up cleaning up after my kids!! 🍌 
4. More food problems as the kids continued to snack without pause this afternoon. M helped himself to two boxes of raisins and bless him took one through to E. After that he made a trip back to the same cupboard and Steph assumed he was getting some more. Never assume when it comes to our kids! She discovered them sat in the living room having poured out an entire box of crackers onto the carpet and scoffing them 2 at a time. I’m not having panic attacks that we’re going to find some cheese hidden under one of the couches in a few weeks time once it has stunk out the house! 🧀 
5. We’ve now heard from E’s school that she will be getting a new teacher when she returns and broke the news today. She took it surprisingly well and seemed to understand that as she gets older she will move up through the classes and get different teachers. We reassured her that she would still have all her school friends with her but didn’t need to worry as she took it in her stride. “Well Mammy, I’m going to grow up and go from class to class and then when I’m old enough I’ll go to Cousin W’s class and that will mean I’m an adult and then I can make decisions.” Who does she think she is?!? Making decisions when she is a teenager? Sounds like a dangerous mix if you ask me! 🤨

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And so here we are. Well done to us all! 100 not out! A century of daily diary posts. Just waiting for my telegram from the Queen now.
I dread to imagine how many hours this has taken in total if I added it all up but that really isn’t the point – hopefully it brings a smile to some of your faces every so often and it’s going to be a damn good record of the lockdown experience we’ve had in years to come. 
A huge thank you to all of you who have been on this journey with us, whether you have commented, liked, private messaged or just secretly read my blog. 
I’ve been pondering what to do all day as a part of me thought I should just stop here and give myself my evenings back! I think I’ve decided to keep going for now so long as people still want to read it.
Day 100 also happened to be a scorcher and the kids were on great form so let’s do what we do best and count down a top 5:

1. M continues to lap up lots of new experiences during lockdown and in a way only a 2 year old can, finds wonder and amazement in the smallest things. For no apparent reason he has developed an obsession with hats which was actually quite useful given the importance of slip, slop, slap today. This has added to his well established love of dressing up which brings him so much joy. Without lockdown I would have missed a lot of this and I find on a daily basis I’m trying to work out what on earth he’s thinking – 100 days in and I’ve still no idea! 🧢 
2. We were clearly not the only family in the neighbourhood to be out in the sun. We could hear the squealing and laughter from other gardens, together with the splash of paddling pools. I certainly don’t blame any of them! E decided today that she wanted to have a little look over the fence to see her friends next door. M already has a reputation as a peeping Tom so the last thing we needed was a peeping Mary as well! Anyway, in her usual independent way, she decided to start to build a climbing frame so she could see over and that started with a pushchair being piled on the picnic bench. That was definitely not safe and fortunately Steph stopped her from climbing on top! Disaster averted and perhaps a bit of elf & safety training should be added into the #HomeSchooling syllabus. 👷🏼‍♀️
3. M is a completely different boy if he doesn’t have his afternoon nap. His evil twin appears on the scene and he brings an entirely new level to the term “overtired”. After a busy lunchtime and a nice walk out, Steph tried to get him to sleep in the pushchair which normally works a treat. Not today! I was on a call upstairs and all I could hear was M screaming his head off in the garden. He was just exhausted. It was getting pretty painful and then suddenly he started laughing. I mean proper belly laughing. I was confused. I came downstairs to find out what was happening. It turns out that during his screaming fit, he let out a huge pump which he then found hilarious. It clearly did the trick as he fell asleep shortly afterwards for nearly 3 hours! Sometimes the wee lad just makes his Daddy so proud! 💨
4. Today made me think about my own schooling, especially when it was hot. I remember we always used to ask the teacher on gorgeous days whether we could go and work on the grass outside and inevitably the answer was always “no”! One art teacher had a reputation for saying yes however and we used to get to draw outside instead. It was probably my worst subject at school, given my lack of any artistic talent, but that really wasn’t the point! It’s amazing that for months now E has been able to ask regularly if she can do her schoolwork outside on the grass and the answer is normally yes. The only negative for me is that if she’s out there, I can’t take my laptop out as we would inevitably disturb each other. So, just like school, I’m stuck inside on glorious days. Perhaps I should have tried harder in art! ☀️ 
5. There was only one possible tea tonight and it was a good excuse to order some BBQ food from Broom House Farm – a super easy collection and an incredibly tasty meat feast which Daddy charred in his usual way before serving it and insisting everyone tell him how lovely it was! Fortunately we ordered plenty and I told Steph we could have the rest tomorrow evening. I guess I should have checked the weather forecast first as she thought it was hilarious that I would be standing at the BBQ with my manly apron on, in a thunder storm. It’ll take more than a bit of rain to stop this man, as it now feels like the gauntlet has been thrown down! ⛈

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Roasting! It might be the 99th day but we needed 99s to try and cool us down. I must be old as I can remember when 99s actually cost 99p!
I keep thinking that when it’s really hot, at least I’m not stuck in the office but I realised today that it’s actually worse working from home. At least in the office everyone around me is in the same boat, but here all I can hear are the kids (mine and others) having fun out in their gardens! I just want to go out and join them but know I can’t, and of course the forecast is for rain at the weekend when I can! 
But not to be downbeat, tomorrow is meant to be another scorcher and it’s definitely better than heavy rain. The kids have been outside burning off their energy which hopefully means we won’t have a repeat of this morning’s 3am wake up call when Emma came in and started tickling the small of my back whilst asking for a drink. 
Right, 5 big lessons today for the top 5:

1. Remote Court hearings don’t mix well with paddling pools. This is pretty self explanatory. I am always very keen to go on beach holidays but when we get there I’m always the first to comment about how hot it is! I know, I know, it kind of comes with the territory, but I quickly realise the only way I can cope is by placing myself near a swimming pool or the sea so I can jump in and cool down on a regular basis. This is not so easy at home during lockdown but thank goodness M’s new paddling pool came out. Combining that with a lengthy court hearing made for an interesting exchange with the judge asking what the splashing noise in the background was. 💦 
2. Don’t run with wet feet. Another obvious one I would think for adults but it’s easy to forget that the kids still need to learn. E came charging into the house after being in the paddling pool and hit the slidy kitchen floor at speed, managing to wipe herself out and smash her head off the kitchen door. Ouch! I suppose life is all about learning and I suspect this is one lesson she won’t forget in a hurry. 🤕
3. Never underestimate the imagination of children. We had to prepare very carefully today for our lunchtime walk, particularly given the heat. We weren’t exactly going on a hike but I still packed water bottles and emergency snacks into the bottom of the pushchair as well as making sure we all had hats on. Given we all have the fair Low genes we also slapped on the suncream just in case. This was clearly on Emma’s mind as we walked past the horses a few minutes later. “Do you know about horse sun cream Daddy?” 
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Horse sun cream. The farmer puts it on to make sure the horses don’t burn. It’s very hot in those fields you know and they need to be protected.”
I’ll confess the conversation didn’t develop from there as I was distracted, trying to work out how the cream makes it past the hair onto the horse’s skin! 🐎 
4. Never leave the house without tissues. I suspect this is a dad thing, and Mammys are always super organised. We were half way round our walk today and E’s nose started to run. Well, we’ve brought her up well so she immediately asked for a tissue. I didn’t have one. I told her this. She tutted and then she told me she really needed one as the snot was touching her lip. I told her that I wasn’t hiding one, or refusing to give her one to be horrible. I simply didn’t have one to give her. The whining continued and struck a nerve. I weighed up the length of time to get home. I made a split second decision then and there. Please don’t judge. I reached out and wiped the snot away with my hand. I immediately regretted it and she was horrified. “Don’t do that again Daddy. You’ll need to wash your hands now Daddy. That’s disgusting Daddy.” And so it went on. No gratitude whatsoever. And now I’m stuck trying to walk home, pushing the pushchair with only one hand and keeping my other hand out to the side. What has my life come to?!!? 🤧 
5. Don’t judge before you hear the full story. I was on the phone to a client and Steph burst in to change her trousers and she’d had a little accident. Literally a massive wet patch around her crotch. It’s very difficult to hold your chain of thought when faced with that. One immediately tries to work out if it was a one off accident or the start of a rather unfortunate medical issue. In sickness and in health after all! Fortunately the call was coming to an end so I managed to speak to her before she rushed back out in her replacement outfit. I was somewhat relieved to find out that M had sat on her lap just before she discovered the wet patch and clearly he’d just come out of the paddling pool. The relief waned somewhat when I realised the paddling pool hadn’t been inflated by that point and so the mind boggles as to where the wet patch came from… 👖

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14 weeks! 14 weeks?!?!?! It’s a scary amount of time which has now passed since I first packed up and headed home to start my #RemoteWorking. I swear the kids have both doubled in height during the intervening period and certainly have grown in other ways too. We dance every day, we make sure we laugh and tell jokes to each other every day and we try and make this whole experience as positive as possible. It’s been a pleasure to be able to spend so much time with them – so much more than would have been the case without coronavirus! The irony is not lost on me. 
As work continues to ramp up big time, I’m having to force myself to take breaks and make sure I get that quality time with the kids. Today it took just under 3 minutes before I was looking to escape back upstairs. I have no idea how my wife does it!! The terrible twos bouncing off against a five year old, going on 15 is just a nightmare combo!
Anyway, enough of my moaning, what made today’s top 5?

1. Regular readers may have noticed that after a glut of top 5 positions for the GroClock earlier in this diary, I haven’t mentioned it for a while. It’s still been a fantastic buy but the novelty has worn off a little and E is looking for ways to rebel (when is she not?!) I’ve discovered that she actually is always wide awake well before 7am and just sits on her bedroom floor watching the stars on the clock and counting down until she can come through. Think counting sheep but in reverse. She’s somehow messed with the settings however and it isn’t counting down correctly, so she wandered through to our room this morning and prodded me saying “Daddy, what does it mean if my clock says 6-3-1?” Mammy answered on my behalf with a sleepy “it means you’re too early and you have to go away. And whatever you do, do not wake up your brother!” Like that was ever going to work!! 🥱
2. I’m really impressed that in her amazing way, Steph has managed to not only home school E but also teach M! He proudly showed me today that he can count to 10. The words might not all be perfectly formed but you can definitely tell he is counting up. When I told Steph that this was definitely going to make my top 5, she rolled her eyes and said “actually, he can count to 13!” I thought this was a strange number until I realised that we have 13 stairs and with his hyperactivity and climbing up and down the stairs at least 68 times a day, he gets plenty of practice with his numbers! When we want him downstairs he goes up and when we want him upstairs he goes down and when he’s only half way up… 💂🏼‍♀️
3. As usual, my lunchtime walk with the kids is a real highlight of the day, and with the weather picking up again it’s even more of a joy. M was flat out today and slept the whole way through, leaving E and me to have a good chat and play a few games. She wanted to play the “guess what I’m thinking with only 2 clues” game again but today there was a twist. She decided that everything we were thinking about had to be a fruit or a vegetable. So we started with an easy one (it’s orange and starts with “O”) and followed that up with apples, bananas, carrots, potatoes etc. All very simple. Things took a bit of a turn when the clues she gave me were “it’s brown and it is my favourite food for tea.” I was really very confused but went with my gut – it turns out I was right and apparently chicken nuggets are now classified as a fruit (or are they a vegetable?) 🍉
4. The return journey for our walk was even more eventful as E was on FaceTime with her Grandma. I’ve no idea what was said but suddenly she took off at a run. Now she sometimes does this during our walks but it never lasts. I was happily pushing M in his pushchair when I realised she had kept going so I picked up the pace. And she was still going so I started to run after her. She seemed to still be chatting on FaceTime but that wasn’t distracting her as I couldn’t catch up (I’m blaming the pushchair rather than my running ability!) Unbelievably she ran the whole way home with me struggling behind. She even stopped when she had to cross the road and held up the phone so Grandma could look and listen with her to make sure it was safe to cross. Perhaps she was inspired by Steph who went out for her latest C25k run this morning but whatever the reason I need to work on my speed because she’s only going to get better as she grows! 🏃‍♀️ 
5. Something I have definitely learnt during lockdown is what an appetite my two darlings have. They just eat constantly and when they have finished their meals they complain they are still hungry. I have no idea where they put it all! So tonight, after having snacks all afternoon, they sat down for tea and E wolfed hers down. M wasn’t so keen for a change so was just picking at it. Steph turned her back and when she looked over, there was E stealing a bit of his. Waste not want not I suppose. Steph then came upstairs to talk to me and E shouted up “we’re finished now so can we have pudding now?” Steph shouted back down “has M finished or have you eaten his?” There was a bit of a delay as E pretended she couldn’t hear before finally confessing, “we’ve finished together. I just gave him the help he needed.” Gannets I tell you! 🍽

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Well we all bounced out of bed this morning ready to make the most of a new day and indeed a whole new week. I had work, E had #HomeSchooling, Steph had childcare and M had trouble, trouble and a bit more trouble to find. 
The lesson planning for E appears to be slipping a bit now so I really hope we don’t get an Ofsted inspection any time soon! Continuing the fish theme from yesterday, she did a whole bunch of RE (more about that later) and made some fish for her classmates. I’m really not sure how we are going to post them however. M in the meantime is supporting his sister’s education by annoying her, distracting her, running around in circles until he hits his head on something or belting out the soundtrack from Frozen 2. Why anyone would want us in their bubble is beyond me!
So I’m amongst the #RemoteWorking we did have a few things sneaking into the top 5:

1. Now I like to think I’m quite savvy when it comes to the outdoors. I credit my scouting days for the nous I do have – tent erecting, outdoor cooking, navigation and the like. Years of scout camps both as a boy and then as a leader have guaranteed that! One thing that however has never been a challenge, from day 1, was toileting. It’s the joy of being a boy. Out in the wilderness, very little thought needs to go into popping off for a wee. Now I’m a dad and I envisage very little difficulty with M when we are out and about. E, on the other hand, presents a slightly different challenge. I’m learning however and was clearly overconfident when she announced she was desperate for the toilet during our lunchtime walk. Rather than try and convince her to hold it in, I nonchalantly found a spot in the bushes for her. I’m not sure exactly what happened next but I feel it’s quite an achievement to both direct your wee almost entirely into your pants and sting your bum on a nettle at the same time. Nature 1, Daddy 0! 🌳 
2. E invented a new game during our walk today. It was the type of game all men fear yet are expected to be experts in without any warning or training. I had to guess what she was thinking! Fortunately she was allowed to give me two clues before I had to guess. In a cunning twist (presumably a nod to equal rights!) I then got a go and she had to guess what I was thinking. In an attempt to continue her schoolwork, my clues were “he is omnipresent” and “he has a famous son.” E found that really easy but sadly it led us into a question blackhole where I began to struggle really badly to get out coherent answers which were age appropriate. Any I did manage to answer simply led to another, even more challenging, question. This included “Why did Jesus die?” “Was Jesus a baby when he died?” “Why did Jesus have two fathers?” and, weirdly, “Do babies have to use wheelchairs if they don’t learn to walk quickly enough?” I’ve never understood the female brain! ✝️
3. Steph decided today that a further deep clean of the kid’s rooms was necessary. I mean I agreed with the principle but could think of nothing worse than trying to sort out their toys and clothes. But like a good husband I rolled up my sleeves and mucked in. I basically just did what I was told and initially that involved crawling under E’s bed into her secret den to pull everything out so it could be sorted through. After throwing everything out from the floor I turned my attention to the little 4 box unit under there. Two of the cupboard spaces have little doors. I swung one open and it was empty (winner!!) so I flipped open the second which was also empty except for the lifeless body of a huge, hairy rat! I freaked out big time! I twisted round to make a run for it and there was E who silently reached past me and picked it up before saying “I was looking for that wig.” Suffice to say it wasn’t a wig, it was a massive clump of hair she had rescued from Steph’s hairbrush and adopted as some kind of weird pet. Maybe I should consider buying her that fish! 🐀 
4. Just before teatime the girls were in the living room and Steph decided she wanted to watch the daily Government briefing. She warned E that was what she was putting on the TV so she could get the latest about coronavirus just to try and preempt a hissy fit about the lack of Paw Patrol. Instead E just picked up the iPad and said “I’m taking this to my room as I need to watch my programme about the coronavirus to find out the news.” And so she did. We think she has now connected positive news about coronavirus directly with when she can see all her grandparents again, which gives us joy and sadness in equal measures. She will just be beside herself when she finally gets to visit them properly!! 🦠 
5. As is my usual routine in these strange times, Monday night means yoga! A chance to have some time of relaxation and body awareness. If only the kids would stay in bed so it doesn’t turn into a time of high stress and mental awareness. I’m slowly getting to learn some of the poses even if my flexibility and core are sadly lacking. A particular highlight this week was attempting the Goddess pose for the first time. I definitely channeled my inner goddess which has a tad more sass than I was anticipating. I also really need to remember to shut the curtains; there are some weird and wonderful sights and I don’t want to scare the neighbours! 🧝‍♀️

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And there we have it. Father’s Day – one of my favourite days of the year. Why wouldn’t it be, when it is all about me?!!
I was promised that I could choose what we did all day so that guaranteed a brilliant day full of manly things. Or perhaps not. But I’m blessed to have such a loving family who really made an effort today. I know that for lots of people today can be a hard day so I hope everyone has been able to mark it in their own individual way no matter their personal situation.
Unsurprisingly my top 5 today all relate to my two gorgeous darlings:

1. Food was always going to be a key part of the day and definitely kicks off my top 5! After cuddles in bed I was treated to a cooked breakfast, including some gorgeous butcher hog roast sausages. Steph had then organised to collect an afternoon tea which basically covered both lunch and tea given how much was provided! She’d even ordered a “gentleman’s afternoon tea” for me which included a lot less cake and a lot more meat and pastry based treats! Happy days! 🥧 
2. Of course I jest when I say today is all about me. It’s also about Grandpa and Grandad. We were pretty chuffed this year with the gifts we managed to organise. A pub in a box for my dad and a chocolate based message for Jim (see photo below). They both seemed pretty pleased. Although we couldn’t spend any quality time with either of them this year, we managed to see them both from a distance/ using the wonders of modern technology and they both seemed to be having a good day. I want to say thank you to them both for all of their love and support for our whole family – the kids adore you both! ☺️
3. My present this year from the kids was definitely a surprise. None of the usual consumables or cuff links which are the stable in this house – instead my kids had gone out of the box and opted to buy me 3 cactuses (I assume they ordered them online themselves without any help from Steph). Now they are very cute and are all in the shapes of hearts. There are three as apparently they are to go on my office desk to remind me of E, M and Steph. I am genuinely really happy with them and love the fact they chose something to match my personality: full of love and very low maintenance… (please don’t try and argue there’s a different message in there!) 🌵 
4. With my present and card and food, we were all set for a nice lazy day at home. I even got to choose the movies we watched. I thought long and hard as it isn’t very often I get control of such an important decision. Let’s be honest, Emma tends to rule the remote control. So we built a little den and snuggled down to watch my picks. After I had decided, there followed a bit of a family conversation about what movies were appropriate for young children and how we should involve them in the decision making process. So we ended up with Frozen in the morning and then Frozen 2 in the afternoon. I’m not sure, but I think that’s why I kept being told today that I’m the best Daddy in the world! ⛄️ 
5. I was taken by the hand this evening by E and led into the living room. Now that is normally M’s trick when he wants something. She stood me in front of her and looked incredibly serious. “I have something to tell you Daddy. And it’s important.” Alarm bells are going already as you can imagine. What she’s done? What’s M done? “You need to listen very carefully as I don’t think you’ll be happy but I need to tell you this. Don’t interrupt. Just listen to me. Do you understand?” Oh my god! This is proper serious? How much trouble can a 5 year old have gotten herself into? “I’ve been thinking a lot and I’ve decided something. I’ve decided I want a pet. How about a fish?” Seriously? That’s it? After that build up I almost said “yes” just out of relief but I regained my composure and went with my usual “I’ll have a chat with your mother.” 🐠

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I am delighted (and a little relieved) to confirm that the Low family bounced back with a bang today, guaranteeing a positive end to a tough week. The prospect of a long lie during lockdown remains somewhere between faint and non existent so even an early morning wake up call didn’t weaken our resolve. 
I’ll confess I’m looking forward to tomorrow, for no reason other than it’s a Sunday which means another day with my kiddies which is not interfered with by #RemoteWorking. The fact it’s Father’s Day is just a little bonus. I know it’s a tough day of the year for some, so just make of it what you can.
No messing tonight and we’re going straight on with the top 5:

1. I was keen to get out for some exercise first thing in the hope it would set me up for the day. I managed to follow through and knocked out a nice little bike ride. I think there was a bit of inspiration there as E then decided she wanted to take her bike out too and so we all packed up and headed to the park. It’s really been our first proper trip out in over 3 months and went pretty well. Her cycling is still a work in progress and today’s lesson was all about proper use of brakes. That wasn’t my plan for today but E seems to call the shots and simply decided that every time she got going she would just apply the brakes. I’m sure we’ll get over that particular hurdle soon and she’ll be away (probably with me chasing to catch up!) 🚲 
2. E has come out with some strange stuff today. For example when we were at the park she tried to pull me up off the grass and uttered a line it will take me a long time to forget “up we come, big boy!” I mean where on earth did she get that one from?!! The strangest today however was in the car and she had some toy binoculars. She told us she was looking for birds and kept shouting out when she saw one which was rather disconcerting when trying to drive. “LOOK – there’s a blackbird. Very interesting.” She then started going on about technology. I asked what she was talking about and she said she knows everything there is to know about birds and that is Tech-no-logy. I queried this again and said that studying birds was called Ornithology but I assumed she didn’t know that word. Turns out she did (she’s very clever you know – and modest!) and just mixed up the start of the word. 🦅 
3. On the way home from the park, Steph needed to pop into the shop. M was flat out in his car seat so I stayed with him and E. Inevitably a quick trip into the shop is anything but quick during lockdown and so there I was stuck in the car with a bored 5 year old. Apparently the sun burns her so she climbed down into the footwell and took up camp there. After reading a number of stories to her, E announced she wanted us to tell each other jokes. Now many of my usual “go tos” are not appropriate for small children so I resorted to good old Google. Her favourite was definitely: Knock Knock, Who’s there? Cows go, Cows go who? No silly, cows go moo! I’ll warn you know as she’ll be trotting that classic out for years to come! 🐄 
4. M has also had a cracker of a day running around like a loon and continuing to find any trouble he can. He is always so busy. I sent both kids upstairs to pick out their clothes for the day and he turned up with E’s Elsa dress and insisted it be put on him. He decided he didn’t want to wear it to the park and changed into his favourite pink tshirt. As I always tell him, it takes a real man to pull off a pink tshirt! I just wish he wouldn’t keep eating everything he finds on the floor. 👗 
5. I have been running a quiz on a Saturday night for the last 12 weeks now and for most of that time, immediately following we take part in another quiz ourselves along with some of the in laws. Today we took Saturday quizzing to a whole new level by adding a third one into the mix. Steph had found a speed quiz being run with cash prizes and this week’s was all about the Frozen movies. E was all over this, as you can imagine, and my definite highlights were when (more than once) E announced one answer and Steph overruled her, only to get it wrong. Trust the girl, I said, she basically knows the script back to front! Maybe all those viewings of the films will come in good for something. Sadly we didn’t win but I suspect if we’d listened to E it might have been a different story! ❓

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