LawyerLow Diaries

So today was a bit of a non event. Not in a bad way, but I was in the office for most of it and really missed the kids. It’s perhaps an insight into what life will be like when lockdown is finally lifted. I also didn’t appreciate quite how uneventful life can be without the two little bundles of joy!
As I arrived home tonight I was contemplating how to deal with the fact that I have nothing whatsoever to put in my diary. Perhaps I should just stop, I thought. But that thought was quickly put to bed when I walked in the door. “I have lots to tell you” announced my wife and so tonight’s top 5 were born:

1. We’ve had a new lease of life this week for #HomeSchooling and E is flying through a whole bunch of her online work and workbooks. Lots of maths, phonics and spelling as you would imagine for a 5 year old. She really wanted to complete her “Scottish level” on one of her apps and even waited until I got home before she did the last answer so I could hear the bagpipes for the very last time. We’re onto Paris now. But the point of this story is actually about spelling and Steph’s attempts to help. Her workbook showed the word “Twit” and she asked Steph how to say it. As any good teacher will tell you, it’s bad education just to share the answer so she told her to try by herself. Unfortunately E has a habit of mixing her “I”s and her “A”s and so has learnt another new and hugely inappropriate word. Great effort! 🤐
2. I have had first hand experience of how something as simple as going to the toilet is not easy when you have two monkeys around. Personally I think the bathroom should be a sacred space and it is not for interruption unless there is a fire or someone is bleeding. My kids do not understand this. Now, my wife loves a nice long trip to the toilet. I think she just hides in there to have some peace and quiet (not that I blame her!) It turns out that today she only went twice, which is pretty unusual for her, and both times she was interrupted within seconds. The first she heard rattling on the door handle and 30 seconds later E marched in with a cup and squash so she could make her brother a drink. The second time M just wandered in with his new cap on looking very cool and started searching for toothbrush heads. I did politely suggest that locking the door might be an idea in future. My ideas are not normally well received! 🚽 
3. The kids were very excited when a massive box was delivered to the house this afternoon. I mean who doesn’t love a special delivery? Steph was equally excited until she opened it and realised it contained the huge amount of Disney party products she had ordered for M’s birthday last week which have been stuck in Germany. When I discovered this tonight I assumed she would be looking to return them or perhaps resell them. To my surprise she announced that she’s thinking of just putting them up now just for fun. Look out for lots of Mickey Mouse merchandise in the background of any photos for the next little while! 🎊
4. Teatime tonight was an absolute joy. We got to eat as a family and it was on the table ready for me arriving home from the office. Rather than chucking something into the oven from the freezer which we knew the kids would eat, Steph had made a delicious home cooked meal of meatballs and rice with a butternut squash curry sauce. It was a brave move trying to feed the children something vaguely healthy, fresh and tasty but it went down a storm. E was told it was a chicken curry (lol!) and she declared it was the most delicious chicken curry she’d ever had! A definite win! 🍗 
5. A very quick one to finish. We have lots of coloured letters from the signs we’ve had up in our living room windows recently so Steph has decided to put up a little message each day. Today’s was “Happy Tuesday Everyone” – hopefully it might put a smile on at least someone’s face when they walk past… especially if they went by first thing when it actually said “Happy Tueday Everyone”! And she’s teaching E her spelling?!! 🙄

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Well done everyone! You’ve made it through yet another Monday in Lockdown! It is just a fact of life that all important changes kick in on a Monday (diets, new exercise regimes, new jobs etc) and so it was in the Low household. Without any discussion between us, we all seem to have woken up this morning with a new outlook on life, trying to shake off any negativity from the end of last week. Even M, who is the only one who has been loving lockdown life more than pre-lockdown life, seemed to be even happier and cheekier than normal (if that is possible!)
So with the wind in our sails we decided to make the most of the day and tackled chores, #RemoteWorking, #HomeSchooling and even playing with extra gusto. This is definitely the way forward – we got more done and were all happier all day. 
Brace yourself for today’s top 5:

1. In my lunchbreak today I took the kids out for their daily mile, trying to maintain that positive routine. M was conked out after 5 minutes as usual. E was yabbering away about the number zero and how 20 plus 0 was 200 (which weirdly I didn’t understand for quite a long period of time!) We headed back to the fairy garden and also popped in to see the tadpoles who are growing fast. On the way back E suddenly decided to show off her running ability from yesterday and took off at quite a speed. I jogged after her with the pushchair but genuinely could not catch up. It was only when we got back I found out that she was desperate for the toilet which was where the burst of speed had come from. It’s shows how far we’ve come given the wee in the bushes we had back on Day 22! I need to get some speed training done though as I thought I might have a few more years before being outsprinted by my daughter! 💨 
2. Steph headed out this afternoon to pick up our online shop and kindly took our two offspring with her in the car. Upon their return I was regaled with the tales of the conversations between E and her Mammy. Two of these make the top 5! The first involved E taking her toy mobile phone in the car and pretending she was on a call. After she shushed Steph, informing her it was an important call, she was asked who she was speaking to.
“It’s someone who brings me presents to the house.” 
“Oh so one of your grandparents?”
“No, he only brings me presents once a year!”
“Are you talking to Santa?”
“Yes, we’re just having a private chat. Oh and I’m now speaking to Mrs Claus.”
Slightly out of season? 🎅🏼 
3. The second giggle actually came about as E was telling her favourite brother a story to keep him amused. She was making something up and making him chuckle. All was good until she suddenly stopped half way though. “What’s wrong?” Steph asked. “Well we just need to stop there for some adverts. The story will continue in a few minutes.” Anyone think she’s been watching too much tv recently?!? 📺 
4. Today’s matinee performance was Wizard of Oz which E has been demanding to watch for ages. After doing really well with her schoolwork in the morning and behaving on our walk, we decided she could enjoy it this afternoon. All was pretty uneventful as you might expect, except when it got to tonight and Steph was looking through her photos and found no less than 132 photos of the movie which E had taken. Why she keeps taking photos of movies is beyond me but they were in close succession so if you swipe through them, they look like a flip book. I suppose that’s better than the 132 selfies E normally takes on my phone! 🧙‍♂️ 
5. Tonight was a big moment in my life as I participated in my first ever yoga session. Now I have done some kids yoga before with E but this was a full blown hour of adult yoga. M kindly lent me his yoga mat and I logged in ready to give it a good go. I think I was alright with the breathing bit but the actual poses and balancing exercises were a definite challenge. It is harder than it looks and my core is certainly in need of some work. Perhaps most reassuring was the fact that the jokes about being “overly relaxed” and “letting it all out” turned out to be completely true much to Steph’s amusement. Fortunately I had muted the zoom call so my amazing teacher (Lucy Major) has invited me back next week! 🧘‍♂️

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We are somehow at the end of yet another weekend and not quite sure where it has gone. Fortunately the winds have died down today so the gazebo has remained in tact and in our garden!
After a couple of tough days we were determined to get out of our slump and try and have a more productive day. Upon reflection I would say we had mixed success but hopefully that will set us up for starting the new week tomorrow in a more positive frame of mind. Lockdown is hard and seems to be getting harder. I fully expected us to have gotten used to things but perhaps it is the toll now with being 82 days in. If any of my readers are having a tough day, try not to wallow and make sure you talk to you loved ones as they will understand more than you realise!
Anyway, I’m determined to stay positive through this little blip and as ever it is my kids who keep me smiling. So today’s top 5 is for them:

1. After complaining about my lack of exercise since I finished my running challenge, I pulled back on my running shoes and went out this morning for a cheeky 5k. After nearly 2 weeks of rest I was pretty confident my injured leg would be good to go. I was wrong. I made it to the end of the street before I started hobbling. Despite this, I still completed the full 5k and felt quite motivated straight afterwards. Perhaps there is some truth in that science chat about exercise releasing endorphins and being good for you! 🏃‍♂️ 
2. Upon my return to the house after run I was very shocked to find my daughter and wife dressed up in running gear. I assumed this was some kind of ridiculing or wind up and was initially quite hurt. What I really didn’t expect was what they said to me. “Now that you’re finished your run, we’re going for our one now!” Again, I was still assuming this was a joke which was very unsupportive of me and I now publicly must apologise. The girls headed out and completed the first run of the couch to 5k together, in the drizzle. I am hugely impressed and really hope they keep it up. Coupled with my injury I suspect they might run further in June than me! 🏃‍♀️ 🏃‍♀️
3. After the unusually energetic morning, normality was resumed with E taking control and bossing everyone around. She announced she was the pirate captain and I needed to do everything she said. I asked quite innocently what jobs she had in mind and was slightly bemused by her response: “Well Daddy you can choose. You can either clean the dinosaur’s teeth, clean all the rubbish out of the seas by swimming past the sharks or get on with changing M’s nappies.” Obviously I picked the dinosaur as it seemed the least dangerous of the three! Sadly my captain was a lily-livered scurvy gut ache and made me change M’s rather ripe nappy straight afterwards! 🏴‍☠️ 
4. Steph decided that she wanted to try and stage a thank you photograph for one of M’s favourite birthday presents – an etch a sketch. This resulted in a quite frankly ridiculously long battle to try and get both the kids sitting on the sofa holding said etch a sketch with the words Thank You written one it. E, to be fair, was very good and just spent the whole time sitting there practicing her various poses and smiles. M, on the other hand, suddenly decided to take interest in his birthday balloons for the first time and chased one around the room for a good 25 minutes. Whenever Steph tried to pick him up and position him for the photograph he just climbed down with a massive smile and ran away. She finally gave up and collapsed onto the other sofa and E wandered off to do something else. At that precise moment (and to my absolute delight) M climbed up onto the sofa, picked up the etch a sketch and shouted CHEESE! I love that boy! 🐒 
5. This one is for regular readers only! M was left unattended upstairs for around 2 and a half minutes this afternoon. We have discovered tonight that both of our toothbrush heads have gone missing. The back toilet has been fully checked and is empty. HELP!!!! At this rate I’ll be fundraising again but this time it’ll be for a Low toothbrush head fund! 🌡

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Sadly the thought I had last night that we were alternating good days and not so good days hasn’t come true today. We are all fine before anyone gets concerned but today definitely was a case of just getting through the day rather than feeling that any of us achieved anything.
I’m thinking that the weather has had an impact on the mood in the house. I know we should be donning our waterproofs and going out on family adventures, jumping in puddles and the like, but instead we are sheltering indoors just popping out to the garden to rescue the gazebo from blowing away (another two times today!)
Despite the apparent lack of activity, I have somehow managed to find 5 things to talk about so they automatically make the top 5!

1. Some things in lockdown haven’t changed. The kids climbing all over me continues to be a source of much fun and amusement, mainly for them. This morning I was a horse, a unicorn, a donkey and a pig(?!) but rides around the living room are the same regardless of which animal is carrying them. Imagine my surprise this afternoon when I already had M on my back and suddenly Steph climbed on too. E seemed a bit shocked by this development but M thought it was hilarious – I’m not sure the slaps on my backside were entirely necessary… 😣
2. There has definitely been an increase in screen time recently which we are determined to get back under control. It might seem like the easy option but it comes with a lot a negatives, especially trying to switch things off at certain times. Lunchtime today was a prime example. I told E to come through to the kitchen for lunch and was ignored. Steph then shouted through and the reply came back “I can’t now Mammy as I’m watching a programme about church.” Now I assumed this was a complete lie as it is usually Paw Patrol with a sprinkling of PJ Masks so marched through to tell her off and to my surprise she was sitting watching a programme about churches in Ghana. Does that count as educational? 🇬🇭 
3. I still haven’t run since I finished my Lawyers in Lockdown challenge as my right leg is still giving me (improving) pain and even our daily mile which E and I have been pretty good at including as part of our routine, has been slipping. The weather was not our friend today but rumour had it there was a new foal in a nearby field so we headed out in between showers with M in tow to pay it a visit. Fortunately we didn’t get wet and M did go to sleep. In the meantime E was in her element – switching between talking to her grandma on FaceTime and talking to the horses and the chickens on the way. Unexpectedly there were a lot of people out and about despite the ropey weather. We didn’t go far so hadn’t given too much thought to E’s outfit as we genuinely didn’t expect to pass anyone. Her combo of pyjama bottoms, a dress, welly boots, her winter coat and a woolly hat with two pom poms on top certainly raised a few eyebrows! 👗
4. After our walk and with M fast asleep we settled down to watch an afternoon movie. Steph was keen on Maleficent 2 (now available on Disney+) so inevitably that is what we watched. I hadn’t appreciated it was a 12 and whilst I weirdly quite enjoyed it, I was aware that E might get scared at points. Many of you won’t know that E has a history with films, particularly at the cinema, where most visits have resulted in us leaving early with her in tears because it is too sad or too scary. She’s grown up so much during lockdown as she simply turned to us at one point when the big battle started and one character started slaughtering the opposing army and just said “He doesn’t seem very nice”. Where’s my little girl gone? 😢
5. Saturday night is usually quiz night as I back to back hosting the swimming club one and then participating with the in laws. I have repeatedly warned Steph that the microphones when on Zoom are pretty sensitive and muttering (especially when being rude or uttering profanities) can very easily be picked up. She doesn’t listen to me though! Imagine my horror tonight when on one of the Zoom calls this evening (and I’m not saying which one or who was involved!) a rather loud F**K was uttered and heard loud and clear by all those logged in. Please be careful out there folks when you are zooming – we can see you and we can hear you! 🤐

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Well today started off feeling like a Monday morning after all of the excitement yesterday and finished feeling like a Friday. I’m still not quite sure which day it actually is but Steph reassures me I’m not working tomorrow. 
The celebrations yesterday clearly caught up with us all today as we’re not used to partying during lockdown. M slept in and even E was uncharacteristically subdued. Their parents are just knackered as the never ending cycle seems to inevitably continue. Perhaps it was to be expected that today was never going to reach the highs of a birthday celebration – tomorrow will no doubt be a better day.
Thank you so much to those who are still reading these diary entries after 80 days. I really do feel you have been on the journey with us – through the highs and lows. Who knows when it will end but it’s reassuring that we have company! So today’s top 5 are especially for all those who have read all 80 entries:

1. M’s un-birthday was always going to involve lots of opening up boxes and building various presents from yesterday. As Daddy had a long day in the home office lined up, it was over to the boss of the house to step up and get building. It did not get off to the best of starts. The pin for inflating the mini football mysteriously disappeared and the football nets are incredibly difficult to fit to the frames. I tried to be supportive when I popped downstairs for lunch but me commenting about how her small fingers were going to be perfect for such a fiddly job did not go as I had expected. She managed however and I found the perfect use for them given the weather outside – a jail to keep the kids in! 🥅 
2. #HomeSchooling did not go well today. I’m not sure whether it was because E was tired and grumpy or whether it was because her mother was. I suspect both contributed. I waded in at lunchtime and sat with E to try and coax her through the next few pages of her comprehension workbook. Steph obviously thought I was trying to interfere and show off what a great teacher I am, whilst E decided if she wouldn’t do it for Mammy there was no way she was doing it for Daddy. When she lied for the third time she didn’t know the word “the” Daddy just threw in the towel and passed her back to Mammy to deal with. At this rate Saturday school is very much on the cards! 👨‍🏫 
3. The weather has been really changeable here today, one minute it was hailing and the next the sun was out. The wind has picked up big time too. I didn’t think much about it until I took M downstairs after his shower tonight and looked out into the garden to see the new gazebo taking off and blowing across the lawn. I know E loves flying kites but given it is 4m x 4m it’s quite a sizeable structure it wasn’t a great sight! It pulled out from its pegs and guy-ropes but fortunately I managed to dash outside and grab it before it left the garden and we have reinforced it. I’m just hoping it’s still there in the morning! 🌬 
4. I’ve decided that M’s last 12 months have really been dedicated to him fine tuning his cheekiness. I’ll confess I had hoped that this would mean that his 3rd year would see a move towards better behaviour but sadly that hasn’t worked out. Now bear in mind I’ve worked the vast majority of the day so haven’t really seen him but he clearly had been hatching a plan ready for me. So I come down into the living room and E comes for a cuddle and then stands behind me pretending to hide up my tshirt. All very light hearted and we’re just mucking about. The next thing I know the wee man has snuck in with her and in one fell swoop de-kegs me with the most cheeky laugh. There I am standing mooning the neighbours! I’m really hoping they weren’t looking out just at that moment! 🌔
5. The other big excitement today was the arrival of the postman. Now often it can be an anticlimax particularly if all that comes through the letterbox is a bill for Daddy but today a letter arrived for E. You can imagine her delight given how most of this week has been all about her brother. Little did I know that this was a gift from her (5 yr old) fiancé. To be fair, the boy has style, as he had made a cut out picture of E, including a big heart with Jamie loves E on the back. Accompanying this was a card with a picture of himself as a knight next to E in a tower. He is clearly a true romantic and apparently my job this weekend is to help E design a reply. I wonder if I can include a picture of a Daddy hooking the wannabe boyfriend up to a lie detector? 🤔

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So the big day has arrived and of course it meant that our 79th day in lockdown was all about my wee lad and trying to mark his 2nd birthday. And what a day we had. The weather might have been pants and there was no excessively large party for a 2 year old but it was very special all the same and certainly not one to be forgotten. 
We managed to get some friends and family on a zoom call to sing happy birthday at our Mickey Mouse themed teatime. M seemed delighted regardless and asked me to thank everyone on his behalf for all the presents, cards and messages he has received. He is now the proud owner of his very own yoga mat and was delighted to participate in his first session with E this morning – hugging yourself turned into hugging each other which was incredibly cute. 
There was a lot going on today but I learnt 5 important things so they naturally are my top 5:

1. A cake smash doesn’t really work for a 2 year old as all he wants to do is eat the chocolate cake, ironically the neatest he has eaten anything in his entire 24 months on this planet! 🎂 
2. Our new gazebo was well stress tested today and I can confirm it is definitely not 100% waterproof. ☔️ 
3. No matter what you buy your kid and how much you spend, nothing will beat a cheapy bubble machine! 🔫
4. My wife is a far more talented baker and cake designer than I have ever given her credit for and I am publicly declaring that I would like her to make me a cake for my forthcoming birthday. She is not however as talented with lighting candles on said cakes as she hasn’t mastered that if you blow out the match in direct line with the candles you have just lit, you will be back to square 1! 🕯 
5. Despite being the youngest member of the family, being overexcited all day what with it being all about him, and the fact that his father, mother and big sister are all exhausted, somehow M still refused to go to bed and is still making jigsaws on his bedroom floor! 🥱

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Well today could have turned into a disaster for this diary as for a moment it looked like I wasn’t going to have anything to write. But in a last minute wise decision I opted not to go and sit in a queue for 12 hours waiting to get through the newly reopened McDonald’s drive through mainly because I’m really not that desperate for a Big Mac! It’s amazing what this world has come to at the moment! Instead the Lows stayed at home and stayed alert. Lots of #RemoteWorking and #HomeSchooling coupled with preparations for tomorrow’s big birthday celebration which inevitably features in today’s top 5. Here we go:

1. The rain is here and sadly appears to be here to stay. I still look the kiddy winks out for their lunchtime walk to give Mammy a break and try and get M to sleep. As ever it was the chat with E which proved to be the highlight. She definitely doesn’t need me to contribute to the conversation as she just talks at me without stopping: “when coronavirus is finished Daddy I want to go to so many places. I want to visit Grandma Alison and Grandpa and Grandma Dawn and Cousin James and Aunty Nic and Scotland. And Egypt. And China. I want to go to China but I don’t like the food you know. It’s yucky. We had the casserole at nursery to celebrate the dragon birthday (Chinese New Year?) but I didn’t try the casserole as I know I don’t like it.” I mean who knew Chinese Casserole was even a thing but I’ll know not to serve it for E’s birthday!
2. I learnt today that it is almost impossible to concentrate on work when your wife is filling the house with the most delicious baking smells. My stomach has been complaining all day as I just want to eat the Disney themed goodies which she prepared ably assisted by E. This includes the most impressive looking birthday cake especially given that she has never decorated one from scratch before. You’ll have to wait for the photos tomorrow but it was the biscuits in the oven which really drove me to distraction. Maybe a furloughed wife is the way forward if she’s going to bake me tasty treats every day! Apparently I’ve got another thing coming. I hope it’s chocolate brownies… 🍪 
3. During the baking this afternoon Steph tried to involve E as much as possible. They were rolling out the dough and Steph asked if she wanted to use the cutters. She got a very standard E look with a roll of the eyes. “Of course Mammy. I need to do this as I need to learn new skills so that when I have my own children I am able to teach them.” You have to admire the sentiment but any chat about her having her own kids does stress me out! 👩‍👧‍👦
4. Tonight as I was tucking E into bed I reminded her that despite is being M’s birthday tomorrow she still shouldn’t get up early. She is so well trained that she immediately replied “of course Daddy, I need to wait for the sun to come up” (I still love that clock!) She then proceeded to explain what her plan was tomorrow as she thought she would probably wake up early so she would sneak through and get a drink of water and would then head into M’s room really quietly and just watch him (creepy much?!) until he started to wake up and then she would run back to her room really quickly and watch her clock for the sunrise and then she would go back through and give him a big cuddle and sing happy birthday and then bring him through to our room. I’m not sure whether to find this cute or a tad disturbing! 🤨
5. I have no choice but to finish tonight with a mention of my work quiz this evening. I’ve handed over quizmaster duties to others over the last 3 weeks and it has been good fun to be a player rather than the author of the questions. Tonight took it to another level however as the latest host decided to move away from the more traditional quiz rounds and instead opted to include some novel topics including two absolutely sensational impressions rounds. Considering he was reluctant to write the quiz in the first place clearly something happened over the weekend and he decided to jump in with both feet. I’m worried this standard is never going be reached again and my plan old geography rounds just won’t cut it! 🌍

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Well another gorgeous day in lockdown is over and perhaps it was the last gorgeous day of the summer. But let’s not be pessimistic about things and try and focus on the positives.
We had a Sherlock Holmes style mystery this morning which remains unresolved. After M’s late night antics last night, he refused to finally go to bed unless he had a biscuit. So with his custard cream in hand he trotted up the stairs but to our surprise he didn’t ram it into his gob. Within seconds he was sparko in his bed and I was dispatched to rescue the biscuit to ensure it didn’t make a mess in his bed. Well, could I find it? We still don’t know where it’s gone and as usual with my little boy, the mind boggles! Happy for any suggestions of possible hiding places as we really don’t want it going mouldy!
And so we move onto events of today and the big question of what made the top 5:

1. The big development of today was that it was Steph’s first day on furlough leave. This has lead to a mix of emotions about what it meant for us but our positive outlook on life inevitably caused us to focus on how much easier it would be to juggle childcare and work. Sadly for me, this did not manifest in the way I had naively expected. Steph woke up this morning and decided she was starting a holiday so had a very lazy day monitoring the children from afar and letting them amuse themselves. An executive decision was made to can #HomeSchooling for 24 hours. It was a bit like asking your schoolteacher if you could do your work on the grass outside because the sun was out and not only did he say yes but then you didn’t actually have to do any work when out there anyway! I could hear far too much fun going on outside which just ended up making work even more challenging. 👨‍💻 
2. From absolutely nowhere my wife announced that she thought we should invest in a gazebo. Now we’ve borrowed one from the in laws before, for a particular event but I’ve never ever thought about buying one. So of course a hundred good reasons were given to justify such a purchase and before I knew it we were on a click and collect journey at lunchtime and then rushed back home to get it built in the garden. I’m looking at it now thinking that with the forecast rain the kids will likely be indoors a lot more than they have been so perhaps I could relocate my home office outside into the gazebo just to get some peace. 🎪 
3. The obsession of jigsaws in my house has been taken to new levels. I came downstairs at one point this morning to find all 3 of my family sitting doing jigsaws. M is an absolute fiend and just demands more and more to do. He’s so happy finishing one and then just breaking it up and doing it again. His main breakdown today was when he lost a piece so thought he had finished but there was a gap in the middle. I mean who hasn’t suffered that crushing feeling so I can certainly empathise. Fortunately it was tucked down his shorts so disaster was averted. Sadly his jigsaw skills did not come in handy when he wondered over the “help” Daddy try and put the poles together for the gazebo. He was more interested in trying to hide the last one…. 🧩 
4. I don’t normally write about things that I didn’t personally experience but this one was too good to exclude from tonight’s top 5. E has been able to reach into the cutlery drawer for a while now but she knows what she is allowed to touch and what might be dangerous. We didn’t think M could get into it so imagine Steph’s shock when he came running out into the garden clutching a pizza cutter. Apparently he thought it was a measuring wheel (you remember those from school surely) and certainly didn’t give it up without a fight. When this story was told to me, I couldn’t help but think that we never had these problems with E. I wonder what makes two siblings so very different even though they are growing up in the same house with the same rules. 🍴 
5. After I’d finished work for the day I had one big job to do this evening. We knew the weather was due to change so there was a big clear up operation underway in the garden. The kids have basically lived out there for over a week so there were toys and bouncy castles and paddling pools and jigsaw pieces and BBQs and all the rest that needed tidying away before the rain came. It felt like we were preparing for a hurricane as everything was packed away. I’m just surprised we weren’t boarding up the windows. Who knows how we are going to cope with the kids cooped up indoors. I suspect we will be donning wellies and raincoats and still heading out for lunchtime walks just to retain our sanity! 🌧

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Well I never. A new day, a new week and a new month and we’re still in lockdown. The lifting of some restrictions today doesn’t have any effect on the Lows and we continue to juggle #RemoteWorking and #HomeSchooling. I made the mistake of saying to E at breakfast that after the weekend it was a school day today. She assumed (as I’m sure any 5 year old would) that I meant she was putting her uniform on and heading into school to see her friends and teachers. Cue a lot of upset when I explained I had just meant it was a weekday rather than a weekend. 
Besides the shock to the system of having to do a full day’s work I did manage to spend some great quality time with the kids today and it’s no surprise they feature heavily in today’s top 5:

1. I’ve worked out that today is the start of the 113th month since Steph and I first moved in together. You would think that having lived together for such a (relatively) long time she would have been used to me and my ways. I’ve certainly learned to live with her little quirks, and dare I say it have learned to love them! Despite this, apparently waking her up this morning for the 113th time by doing “a pinch and a punch for the first of the month and no returns” is not endearing in any way. Who knew?! 😬
2. I’m having a feeling that our essential weekly shop will have to change to a twice weekly shop given we are being eaten out of house and home by the kids. Especially in the mornings they both just eat and eat. Despite Daddy giving them both a big breakfast, when is came to shift changeover at 9am they were apparently “starving” (E was elected as spokeswoman of the group) so Mammy had to feed them some more. By 11am E was demanding Weetabix so we told her she could have that for her lunch if she really wanted. And she did. After wolfing that down she then had “proper lunch” and of course had to have ice cream for dessert. I hate the thought of them going hungry and I know they are growing but surely their stomachs aren’t that big? 🥣 
3. I took my little delights out for their lunchtime walk today, having taken our time to get all ready to venture into the furnace outside. Perhaps a bit of an exaggeration but when you are as fair as we are, the recent heatwave can easily become a problem. Slip, slap, slop was in full swing and off we trotted. E, as usual, insisted on wearing a party dress for the walk; I can only assume she’s worried she might meet the boy of her dreams when we are out. Today, M fell asleep straight away in his pushchair so it gave E and I the chance for a good chat. She wanted to talk about God and how he is omnipresent (my word, not hers!) She had clearly been giving this some careful thought and wanted to know whether than means she is standing on God every time she walks around. I tried to reassure her that this wasn’t the case but she clearly isn’t convinced and keeps tiptoeing around. ✝️
4. Today was a very important day. These days come round once in a blue moon when you have children and little girls in particular. They are more than just noteworthy – they will impact on every facet of your life for many months if not years to come. They will need to be considered at Christmas time and birthdays, they will impact on clothes and toy purchases. I can only think of experiencing this as a parent once before. Yes, you’ve guessed it, today was the day E announced that her new favourite film had changed. For as long as I can remember it has been Sleeping Beauty (the “old” one) and Princess Aurora has always been her favourite character. Now don’t get me wrong, she will watch other things and has always had other movies she enjoys but SB has always been number 1. So I was genuinely quite excited that she had moved onto something else. I couldn’t wait to find out what the new favourite was. And then suddenly I regretted being so excited and I very soon will be pining for SB again. This is because her new favourite is Frozen 2! ❄️ 
5. M has been VERY good recently at not waking up the house at stupid o’clock in the morning. I’m convinced he is still awake at his usual time but he is playing very nicely in his room until E gets him up. I am assuming he quietly got up very early this morning as he seemed tired by 10am and hit his afternoon nap hard when out for our walk. The result of this was a very long nap which inevitably causes problems at bedtime. We tried to put him in his bed at the normal time this evening but he immediately started a protest. This started with some banging on his baby gate and then some rebellious jigsaw work for a couple of hours. When he realised this wasn’t working he went back to balling and wailing at his gate until his Mammy couldn’t handle it and as I write this (11pm) he is sat beside me wide awake. It’s lovely having a cuddle from him but wish us luck with him tomorrow!! 🥱

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Hindsight is a wonderful thing but I don’t think I needed it today as I had already called yesterday that today was going to be busy! Reflecting on the weekend I also think I picked a stonker for a three dayer. When, pre-lockdown, did we ever have such good weather on weekends? Unheard of!
With M’s birthday fast approaching, I’ve only just realised that I have another 4 day week coming up. Living the life of riley during #RemoteWorking. A bit of positivity and no room for Monday blues tomorrow so let’s smash another week!
Top 5 for today coming up:

1. Early motivation. To my utter surprise, my wife bounded out of bed with a spring in her step having clearly dreamed about living in a completely clean and tidy house. And so my chores began. The fellas out there will know that when your better half is in this frame of mind you’d better have a damn good excuse to make yourself scarce, or you roll up your sleeves and pitch in. If you can bear to do the latter you will earn a lot of brownie points. We now have a very tidy house for the first time in a long time and a very happy lady of the house. 🏡 
2. The picnic. I have been harping on for a while about taking the kids for a long walk in the full understanding we would need to bribe them, probably with the promise of food. Therefore after my chores were done I set about making a picnic and then we got ready to set out on an adventure. Now leaving the house with two kids is challenging at the best of times but with them both insisting on taking rucksacks full of toys and their mother constantly wanting to double check we had the essentials; picnic blanket, sun cream, hats, water bottles etc etc it took a while. Off we went in the blistering midday sun with my patches of sunburn from yesterday already crying out for shade. It actually went really well considering their little legs. Apart from when M face planted the path. Oh, and when E slipped and scraped the back of her legs. And when we walked an extra mile looking for a flat spot to have the picnic which had to be away from the stinging nettles and in the shade and be set back enough from the path to allow others to get past. You’ll be pleased to hear the Paw Patrol cheese I bought yesterday went down a storm! 🧺 
3. Daddy’s homemade wedges. I’m trying to do the good parenting thing and feed the kids healthy things and not just a rotation of items from the beige freezer drawer. So tonight I rustled up some homemade potato wedges which actually turned out quite well. I kept a close eye on E when she started to eat them and asked her outright what she thought. She put one thumb up and the other thumb down. 
“What does that mean E?”
“Well the thumb up is because they are nice and crispy on the outside. And the thumb down is because on the inside they are too soft and fluffy!”
“Too soft on the inside?!? That is the perfect potato wedge!”
“No Daddy. I like chips, not these. Chips are fat and not dry. Just make them next time.”
I clearly looked crestfallen at the point as she continued. 
“Don’t be sad Daddy. I still love you even if you can’t make nice chips. It’s just better if you cook the usual ones tomorrow and then everything will be better. Let’s pinkie promise.”
“What are we pinkie promising?”
“That you can try cooking me other things but you must promise never ever to cook me these chips again.”
By now I was looking around for any kind of support and just prayed that M was enjoying his. And it was at exactly that point he spat out his potato wedges and started clawing at his mouth as if I’d poisoned him. I give up! 🍟 
4. Silence is golden. We have worked out that the few moments of peace we get each day often turn out to be the most dangerous. Children should be seen but not heard. Not my two! If I can hear them then I know exactly where they are and have a pretty good idea of what mischief they are up to. If I can’t hear them that usually means they are up to no good, usually in cahoots with the other. Stealing toothbrush heads or drawing on the walls or similar. You can therefore imagine our surprise when today we went looking for M after a period of uncharacteristic silence, only to find him sitting very nicely putting together one of his many jigsaws. Is this the start of a new period of good behaviour where he just plays nicely like we see all the other children doing on social media? I hope so but won’t count my chickens! 🤫
5. Florence. Today saw the return of Florence the butterfly, who you may recall featured earlier on in my diary. When out for our walk today a butterfly dive bombed E and when Steph asked if she was okay, she replied “yes of course, it’s only Florence.” She had white and orange wings, which I must confess appear to have changed since her last appearance. E then launched into a full blown explanation to Steph about how another butterfly nearby was called James Michael who was Florence’s brother. She then said she knew what all the butterflies were called and she really wanted to catch one. Perhaps chasing them and clapping her hands together was not the wisest idea unless she wanted to squish a member of the family! 🦋

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