LawyerLow Diaries

So a bump and a bang greeted us as we headed upstairs to bed last night. For the first time ever M had rolled right out of bed and got a right scare. In an apparent coincidence E emerged not long after, at 1.15am, just to have an early morning chat with her parents. She was given short shrift and marched off back to bed.
I’d like to say that the day could only get better from there but I suppose that depends on your perspective. I’ll let you choose as you meander through today’s top 5:

1. Steph’s latest clothes purchases made a surprise appearance first thing as she gave us all a fashion show trying to decide which new top to wear. One of these tops was somewhat see through which led to a discussion about the visibility of her bra. I joked that she should just wear the top without one but this comment was seized upon by E. “Don’t be ridiculous Daddy! All ladies have to wear bras!” When I queried this I was told that it is because they are comfortable but she doesn’t have to wear one because she is just a kid. First time I’d heard I’d married a lady like!! 👙
2. Steph was working a half day today so headed over to pick the kids up at lunchtime. M is back in his cheeky mode and refused to follow any requests. She needed to change him before they left Grandma’s house but he buried his head in a cushion and seemed convinced that because he couldn’t see his Mammy, she couldn’t see him either. He got a right shock when she “found” him but quickly recovered and hid behind a door instead. The sooner that boy learns that Mammy always wins, the better. I learnt it years ago! 🙈
3. Whilst M was being a tinker, Daddy was trying to source some lunch for himself. I was in the office today, so popped out to pick up a sandwich. The only problem was that when I got to the shop I realised I didn’t have my face mask with me. I couldn’t bring myself to break the rules so had to skulk back to the office empty handed. When I arrived home it turned out Steph had picked up some new masks for the kids. Not that they need to wear them but E is really keen to be the same as her parents. Who knew wearing a mask could be so stylish?? 😷 
4. Before leaving Grandma’s house, M was once again on the hunt for food. He spied the biscuit tin and shouted through. He was told no. Well, that was never going to end well. The next moment, a massive bang reverberated from the kitchen as he pulled down the tin and it smashed onto the floor. Biscuits and crumbs everywhere and M standing proudly over his handiwork munching on a biscuit. How does that boy always get his own way? Maybe he could teach his Daddy a trick or two! 🍪 
5. Tonight we had video calls with both of my parents. The kids just love seeing them with the only problem being how wet my phone is afterwards as they both plant slobbery kisses on the screen. We had a rousing rendition of “Elephants have wrinkles” from the whole family which you can’t help but smile at. M even knows all the actions now despite sometimes mixing it up with “Heads, shoulders, knees and toes”. E just loves to dance around the living room naked. For a change I didn’t join her tonight as neither of my parents need to see that on a Tuesday, or indeed any day of the week!! 🐘

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So my birthday weekend might be over but we launch straight into a very exciting week as M officially started nursery for the first time today. His taster sessions must have gone well and he kept his true naughtiness well hidden so off he trotted.
Thank goodness for the kids as Mammy and Daddy just did boring work all day and so I’ve had to rely heavily on the junior members of the family to make the top 5. Let’s plunge in:

1. Whilst I was dead to the world this morning, Steph was up early and getting ready for the day ahead. My slumber was rudely awoken by the usual pile on by my kids and I was dragged downstairs to get them fed and dressed. Suddenly I realised that all 4 of us were all ready for the day and it wasn’t even 8am. Now that hasn’t happened since before lockdown. In fact most days we don’t even bother getting the kids changed out of their pyjamas- it just creates unnecessary washing. But that apparently isn’t acceptable at nursery so we put them in some clothes and off they toddled, in the rain and without a backward glance. Sometimes their independence makes me incredibly proud! 😎
2. Not only did I get to drop them off today, I also picked them up. The emotional reunion in the foyer was quite a sight to behold. Two members of my family visibly showing unbridled joy for seeing each other after a whole day apart. I mean I’d missed them both two, but the very tight hug on display between my two darlings was lovely to see. We forget that they miss each other even more than they miss us boring parents! I tried to get some information out of E on the way home but she didn’t share much other than they made sock puppets, cooked rocky roads and she made a new friend. When I asked what her name was, I was immediately reprimanded and was told it was a boy. She doesn’t know his name but did know he was “7 going on 8”. Apparently that’s a turn of phrase a 5 year old knows! Anyway they played together all day so Daddy will have to monitor this relationship very closely! 🧐
3. I got the kids home, fed them *again* and provided some surgical support to the sock puppets as the googlie eyes were falling off. We were waiting for Mammy to arrive home but then M decided he wanted to dance in the kitchen. Before I knew it all three of us were busting out moves to some dinosaur raps. These were provided by Andy and his prehistoric adventures which is a very niche reference I appreciate. All you need to know is there was a children’s TV character rapping about different species of dinosaur whilst we were boogying around the kitchen. I’m so glad no one was peering in our windows!! 🦕 
4. I heard Steph shout this evening “M, stop standing on your sister’s head!” It made me think about all the one liners I’ve heard during lockdown which without context would be completely ridiculous. Most of them involve toilets or discovering things in places they shouldn’t be (or both). There was also one about M having his sister’s pants on his head which he will be suitably mortified about when he’s older! Happy memories!! 😂
5. After recovering from my unexplained shoulder injury I was back online with my weekly yoga class tonight. I was able to use my new yoga mat and yoga blocks and pulled off a pretty decent Warrior 2 pose and my downward dog is definitely improving. The middle section all involved dangling my head below my waist so basically all the blood rushed to my head. The end section involved lying down so the blood all rushed back into my body and basically sent me to sleep. I suppose if it’s all about relaxation and clearing my mind then I achieved perfection! 🧘‍♂️

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Well dear reader you won’t be surprised to hear that after all of the excitement of yesterday, today was a far more relaxed and generally uneventful day. This overcast weather isn’t helping either and looks set to continue for a while yet.
Sundays should really be a celebration of the end of a successful week and making the most of the last day before a new one begins. Instead today seemed to just be a case of waiting for the inevitable grind of a Monday to start. I’m not going to make the same mistake next weekend!
Right let’s canter into the day’s top 5:

1. After a late night eating Chinese food I was hoping for another of those long lies that sometimes are gifted to us by the kids. I was sadly disappointed as they bowled in at 6am. I took them downstairs to try and let Steph have some more sleep and we ended up watching Nanny McPhee. Exhaustion was the theme of the day as during the afternoon, M had a three and a half hour nap, E put herself to bed for a kip and Steph was snoring on the couch for quite some time! I possibly closed my eyes for a short time but I’m not sure that achieved much. An early night tonight for all I think so we are full recharged ready for a full on week ahead. 🥱
2. As a result of impeccable planning and timing by my wife, any birthday celebrations I have always continue into a second day as today is E’s half birthday. Given her elephant type memory, she never forgets and insisted that she had some cake and got to choose what we did today (not a lot!) Keen to get in on the action, Steph announced this afternoon that it is also her three quarter birthday today. That gave her the right to pick what we all had for tea but not much more. Poor M was completed left out. I worked out that it is his 804th day on this planet and in a few more days he will have spent exactly 20% of that in lockdown. I suppose a good time to get him ready for his first full day at nursery tomorrow! 🎂 
3. The one and only thing I managed to achieve today was to get out for a run. Number 26 of the GNR Solo challenge is bagged and it somehow ended up being a 10k PB. I got to try out my Camelback for the first time, which came in handy trying to keep hydrated. The paths were really busy this morning and at one point I was passing a lady in a luminous yellow vest, as a guy was coming the other way in a luminous yellow vest and 6 bikers flew past, all of whom were wearing luminous yellow vests too. I felt very relieved with my outfit choice! I’m not so sure about my post run selfie which makes me look like I added a year to my age for every km run! 👴🏼 
4. Tonight’s story for E was the Goose that laid the golden egg. A classic of course, with a very important moral subtext about greed. I struggle to lose the teacher hat even on a weekend in the holidays so ended up discussing the moral aspect with her at the end of the story. It turns out that if she found a golden egg she wouldn’t sell it as she’d hope there was a baby goose inside it. Apparently she’d have to build a nest and then sit on it to keep it warm. Although after further thought she decided she would take it to a farm so another goose could sit on it for her. She also announced that once it had hatched she would sell the golden shell and use the money to buy a television for her bedroom. She wishes! 🥚 
5. The kids were flat out as soon as their heads hit the pillow so Steph and I settled down for a nice quiet (and uninterrupted) evening. I made the fatal mistake of telling her that she could put whatever she wanted on the TV. I should have known what was coming next but it was too late anyway. And so I’ve managed to make good progress in writing my diary entry whilst Bridget Jones’s Diary plays in the background. Now I don’t mind a chick flick now and again but the soundtrack playing this evening is sensational! 🎼

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What a brilliant day! Birthdays when you are a kid are so exciting, so full of wonder and happy memories. As you get older sadly that excitement seems to start wearing off a little. Basically the bigger the fire risk caused by your candles, the tougher it is to get excited about becoming another year older. 
But today was a break from that and my wife and kids really made sure I had a birthday to remember. I have also had a huge number of birthday messages so thank you to everyone who took the time to send them!
Today we have an extra special top 5, which of course is all about my birthday!

1. No birthday is worth even mentioning unless it starts with a big birthday breakfast. I was woken up by special cuddles from the kids and the corners of cards being rammed into my forehead. When I regained consciousness I was dragged downstairs to open my cards and presents and then we enjoyed a lush cooked breakfast. Even the kids tucked into the scrambled eggs and sausages. Unluckily for them they passed on the black pudding which just left all the more for me. Washed, dressed, fed and ready for an action packed Saturday – we were raring to go! From a presents perspective it was a little weird to receive running and yoga equipment but it was exactly what I had asked for!! 🍳
2. Our main activity today was a trip to Adventure Valley. New measures to deal with Covid-19 and a little bit of drizzle early on didn’t really have an impact and we basically just had an amazing day out. M took great joy in feeding the goats but only one pellet at a time. We bounced on the pillows, played football, explored the castle, got lost in the maize maze, sailed on board the pirate ship, raced on the go karts and, my favourite, flew down the hill on the tyres. I can’t remember the last time we had a family trip out like that with just so much laughter and happiness. That makes it sound like our family outings are horrific which clearly isn’t the case; it was just a brilliant day. Steph had packed us a lovey picnic lunch including hot dogs in a flask of boiling water so they were heated up ready, and some mini cupcakes for dessert. I’m left wondering if we can go back tomorrow! 😆
3. After such a busy trip out we were all knackered when we climbed back into the car this afternoon. M was flat out asleep and E not far off. On the way home, Daddy unwisely cracked a joke about having fish for tea (see last night’s diary entry for context!) Mammy uttered a very rude word under her breath and Daddy expressed his shock at the utterance. E immediately opened her eyes and demanded to know what had been said. I responded that I would tell her when she’s older. That wasn’t good enough apparently, “Please Daddy, I just need to know and I promise I won’t say the word ever in my whole life!” Oh how we laughed and promised ourselves to make a note of that comment so we could remind her of it when she’s a potty mouthed teenager!! 🤬
4. My lovely in laws turned up this evening to say happy birthday. As is the case for all visitors moving forward they were very quickly offered one of Steph’s new gin cocktails. If we’re not careful Steph will be running out and insisting on increasing the frequency of the subscription! The kids played really nicely and dressed up at various points as Woody and Jessie from Toy Story and then as princesses. M really does love to copy his big sister in every respect! Without being rude, my highlight of this visit was when they were leaving as my brother in law turned to me and said “I talked to my girlfriend with my left hand today!” Now I’m not sure if that’s actually what he meant, but I’m hoping not otherwise I’m really not as “down with the kids” as I thought when it comes to technology. It’s one fear I have, especially when it comes to my own kids as I want to understand how they communicate with their friends when they are older. Can they get SIM cards installed in their hands now?! 🤙
5. We’ve finished the day as we started – eating! After our trip out, Steph very kindly treated us to a trip to Blackberries Patisserie to make sure I had some lush cake for my birthday. I see they sold out every single product today, which we might have contributed to by stocking up on cakes, brownies and other treats. So much for my new healthy lifestyle! Everything there is so lush, which makes it almost impossible to choose between two items! Then for tea we have had a Pavilion takeaway which is always a special treat and basically pushed us into a food coma. So I’m now completed stuffed, exhausted and deliriously happy about what a brilliant day I’ve had. Maybe turning 36 isn’t all bad!!! 🎂

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Happy Birthday Eve to me! The last day of my early 30s 😂 was a good one as was always going to be the case with it falling on a Friday. 
A nursery trip in the morning and Grandma’s house on the afternoon left me #RemoteWorking in virtual silence but as usual the darlings made their presence known both before and after! I’m really looking forward to a weekend of fun with them and heaven knows what they have in store. 
But before that we have to run through today’s top 5:

1. Today saw the second and final taster session for the kids at M’s new nursery. We bounded out of bed and I rushed to get them washed and fed and dressed and ready to go. Only then did I find out they were starting an hour later than normal. No wonder Steph was still in the shower! By all accounts M had a whale of a time and when he was dropped off he ran straight to his room without a backward glance. Having such independent children is lovely in many ways but it would be nice occasionally to feel that they’re not that keen to get away from their parents. He sought out his favourite toys in the room and so built duplo to his heart’s content. He even sat nicely and ate up all his lunch so presumably he’s worked out that he needs to pretend he’s a good boy to make sure he secures his place there! I’m tempted to tell him he’s on a permanent probationary period! 😇 
2. E also seemed to really enjoy her holiday club session. It turned out one of her best friends from her class at school is there too so they were overjoyed to see each other for the first time in nearly 6 months. Today’s activity (from what I can gather) involves making slime. Now that is definitely something I’ll leave for the nursery to do as there’s no way I’m trying to make that in my house! She also had lunch, just so she could see how it works but with significantly less success than her little brother. “I did try it Daddy. I tried one bit but it just wasn’t for me…” Who knew the shape of the pasta made all the difference given that she ate it all up for her tea. No matter how many times I told her it was the same, she just wasn’t having it. 🍝 
3. With no kids here I had the freedom to go out for my 25th GNR Solo run whenever I wanted. I chose just before lunch, and really enjoyed my 7k. It was pretty uneventful although I did bump into quite a few people out and about. By “bump into” I mean that literally as clearly social distancing is no longer a thing. I do try really hard to be respectful and move as far as possible from others when I am running but it’s pretty challenging when they steadfastly refuse to move from the middle of the path. One can but try! 🏃‍♂️ 
4. Steph went out shopping tonight whilst I got the kids ready for bed. Bath time was a short affair as M decided his boat (the bath) was sinking and he needed to bail all the water out onto the bathroom floor. Anyway when they were all ready M disappeared upstairs and was very quiet for quite a while. That’s always dangerous. He then appeared downstairs with black stains over his chin and neck. He’d just been washed so I was confused. I went to investigate and found that he had moved that blasted rocking horse into our bedroom, climbed on it and pulled down my cacti and presumably tried to eat one of them. I mean of all the pre bedtime snacks you would choose, surely cactus isn’t up there?!? 🌵 
5. I’m finishing with a soppy one tonight. I ended up watching a really sad TV programme where a guy lost his father. The son was 36 which clearly struck a chord with me ahead of tomorrow and his key message was making sure you find the time to tell your parents how much you appreciate all they have done for you, before it is too late. So whilst I spend most of my time trying to be a good father (and a good husband) tonight I want to mention my mum and dad and say a million thank yous to them both for absolutely everything! I love you both!! 💜💙

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Well today was another of those strange days where I convinced myself from the moment I woke up that it was a different day of the week. Sadly for me I was determined it was Friday so you can imagine my disappointment when I kept remembering the truth. 
I’ve also been toying with the idea of stopping my diary tomorrow when I hit the 150 day mark. I have no doubt the kids will give me lots to write about for my birthday post on Saturday and I’ll end up continuing as usual!
Anyway, back to today and the top 5:

1. After being up far too late last night, we had two very sleepy children this morning. They both clambered into our bed and cuddled in whilst yawning their heads off. There’s something lovely about morning cuddles but in our world it is always interrupted by M sneaking downstairs, finding one of his bottles, bringing it back up and hitting me on the head with it until I get up and get him his milk. He’s certainly strong willed. E was adamant she was in charge of breakfast this morning and I arrived in the kitchen to find them both with bowls of cereal and then a second bowl each with a waffle in it. She knows how to set them up for a good day! 🥣 
2. Whilst there were no parcels delivered today, the sight or sound of the postman is still enough to send the whole family into a frenzy of excitement. I suppose when you are a child, any piece of post is exciting and that feeling only wears off when you become a boring adult and learn that most things are bills! Today was a tad different as E got to the door first and recognised her name on one of the envelopes. Meanwhile M ran up to show us what else there was, namely an early birthday card for Daddy and a Checkatrade flyer. He gave the card to me and ran over to show his Mammy the flyer. She asked him if he wanted to keep it and he shouted “yes” before running off clutching his special mail. Goodness knows where he’s stashed it but I can’t bring myself to check that back toilet again! ✉️ 
3. We had an early lunch before Mammy and Daddy headed into the office. For a change M actually ate his lunch all up and did it really nicely without spitting it out, shoving it up his nose or tossing it onto the floor. Steph was full of praise as we try to do the right thing with positive reinforcement. E seemed bemused by the compliments heading his way as normally he is the “challenging” one and she sees herself as the perfect angel. Not wanting to miss an opportunity, she piped up asking whether M was getting any points for being a good boy. When she was asked what he needed points for, she responded that he could then earn money to buy her more fairies for her garden. I can’t fault the entrepreneurial spirit in my daughter!! 💰 
4. Steph decided this morning that we would have fish for tea. Now I like fish, I really do, but I just didn’t fancy it today. Of course I had to make my feelings clear rather than just sucking it up (as I’m sure Steph does on a regular basis when I suggest something she doesn’t agree with). It turns out I moaned so much that by the time we got home this evening she’d decided to cook me pizza instead. On the one hand I feel like that was a win, but on the other I feel really guilty. I shouldn’t overthink these things but am struggling to come up with a way to make it up to her tomorrow! 🍕 
5. Tonight we got back involved in the family quiz after packing the kids off to bed. As I’ve mentioned they were up late last night so we thought a sharp bedtime was wise. Once they were tucked in we settled down to exercise those brain cells but by question 3 E had appeared claiming to not be tired. She was packed off again but by question 10 she was back, and had her sidekick in tow having let him out of his bedroom. She knew she was in trouble as the first thing she said when they walked in was “sorry”! Unfortunately they didn’t know what kenophobia was the fear of so weren’t allowed to join the quiz team. Packed off to bed again and we haven’t heard anything since. Hopefully last night has caught up with them and we get a nice quiet night! 🥱

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Hump day just about over and fingers crossed we’ll speed up through the end of the week and into my birthday weekend. Today has definitely not been a good day for my home city and bless E who heard about the train derailment and said she really hoped Grandma wasn’t on board.
Today was all about the humidity and the complete lack of any rain or thunder storms as promised. The only silver lining was that I discovered that #RemoteWorking in the nude is much more socially acceptable that turning up to the office nude.
Anyway, enough about that and let’s get into the day’s top 5:

1. I finally got some peace this morning when Steph took the noisy oiks to her Mam’s house. They were talking about my birthday and she told E we were going to Adventure Valley. I’m told that they then talked about a couple of secret plans for me and E says “Mammy, can you get me some high heels to go with my jumpsuit like Aunty Nic’s? And I need a new bag to go with it.”
Mammy – “I’ll sort the shoes out but you don’t need a new bag.”
E – “But Mammy I need them for Daddy’s birthday”
Mammy – “But E we’re going to Adventure Valley you can’t wear high heels there. You need your trainers or wellies on and you don’t need a new bag; you’ve got one that goes.”
E – “Yes Mammy I know which one you’re talking about that will go and I can put toys into it to take with me for M to play with but Mammy I want to wear my jumpsuit like Aunty Nic with heels.”
Mammy – “You can wear it when you get back from Adventure Valley.”
E – “No I’m wearing it!”
Mammy – “No you’re not. End of.”
E – “humph!!”
Well that escalated quickly!! 😤
2. After having a couple of days of rest to try and get over my shoulder niggle, I convinced myself I needed to get out for a run at lunchtime. I mean I was sweating as soon as I stepped out of the front door so the run itself was pretty uncomfortable. But I did it so that’s no 24 chalked up for my GNR challenge. I’ve made a mental note that the next time I decide to try and run on such a humid day I should do myself a favour and go out early morning or late evening rather than at midday!! 🏃‍♂️ 
3. Work was uneventful so my mind turned to my long suffering wife and her imminent arrival back from the office with the horrorbags in tow. I thought she might appreciate me making a start on tea and completely unplanned I decide to rustle up a pork roast with some full fat Yorkshire puddings and roast potatoes. I mean are you even allowed a Sunday roast on a midweek evening?!? Well I don’t care what you think because I did it and she loved it and I’ve earned more brownie points than I know what to do with! I just need to be careful about doing too good a job lest she expect it on a daily basis!! I fell into that trap at the start of lockdown with making her a cup of tea first thing in the morning. I’ve now made her one for 148 days in a row! 🍽 
4. When Steph came in and found a delicious meal well under way she was, of course, delighted. She headed straight for the drinks cupboard commenting that she would really like a gin. Something about “a gin a day…” I think my fears about this new gin club registration were spot on. She then changed her mind because we “didn’t have the right ingredients” to make the cocktail she wanted. I mean how has she become such a gin snob after 24 hours? What’s wrong with a bog standard G&T? Apparently it wasn’t wise to say such a thing to her face so I’m off to the shop tomorrow to buy gin cocktail ingredients. The romance is clearly very much alive and kicking in this house! 🍸 
5. I’m genuinely worried that my parenting skills are beginning to slip. I mean of course it’s lovely when friends or family (or especially complete strangers) say something complimentary about your abilities as a parent but I’m catching myself saying the odd thing that probably wouldn’t attract such positive feedback. Tonight was a prime example as I was trying to convince my offspring that it was past their bedtime and they needed to get upstairs. There was a coming together as M tried to run away from me and landed on top of his sister. She screamed and then yelled “He standed on my head!” I’ve no idea why but I found myself saying “it’s ‘he STOOD on my head’ sweetie.” Perhaps her grammar lessons should be secondary to my disciplining her ruffian brother! 😳

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We’re having no messing around tonight as some of us need to get some shut eye. After the kids headed off early last night, inevitably they woke up early as in fact shortly after the joy of a car alarm woke us up at 4am, my little boy was up and about ready to start the day. Obviously butter wouldn’t melt when you see his gorgeous face but I tell you the butter is a complete puddle when he finishes!!
We’re ploughing straight into the top 5:

1. Today was the big nursery induction day. Since M started moving around as a baby I’ve been looking forward to this day!! I really hope the staff know what they’re getting into. He was so excited to get started he fell asleep on the way. I think 9am counts as his earliest nap of all time! Due to the Covid-19 restrictions only one parent was allowed to attend so I happily stepped aside and left my long suffering wife to answer the 1,000 questions. I think my favourite was “describe your child in one word.” Steph did give it a bit of thought before deciding on “cheeky”. I would definitely have gone for something different but probably not publishable in my diary. True to form, immediately after Steph gave her answer he tried to follow some girls into the toilet and looked over with his trademark grin. I think the poor staff member got the message. Apparently it all went well enough however as he’s allowed to go back on Friday. He’s lulling them into a false sense of security, but I suppose it’s only fair to let them find out the hard way… 😈 
2. One benefit of M’s new nursery is that E can also attend the holiday club so she got to attend a taster at the same time this morning. That also seemed to go well, although she told me tonight that she didn’t make any friends as she didn’t want to get too close to anyone in case she caught Coronavirus. Bless her! She is just so used to social distancing. Even though she was only there an hour, she managed to entertain the entire group (of strangers remember) with a detailed telling of her bike accident on Sunday, including a dramatic re-enactment of her hitting the deck. One can only imagine it was Shakespearean in nature with a captivated audience. Again, somehow she’s been told she is allowed to come back but maybe that’s just because we’re paying them to take her! 🎭
3. After successfully completing the nursery visit, I was surprised by the rest of the family turning up at the office for a picnic lunch. It was such a lovely treat as we sat out in the sun and the children frolicked on the lawn. I mean the reality was M kept wanting to play chicken in the car park and try and gather the stinging nettles but the idea was a good one. They even managed to try and speak to some of my colleagues through the windows, such are these times we are living in. I suppose doing more days in the office is more manageable when they turn up at lunchtime as I’m so used to seeing and hearing them throughout my #RemoteWorking. No offence to my colleagues but there provide a lot less excitement than my kids, which is definitely a good thing! 🧺 
4. I arrived home this evening to find that not one but two parcels had been delivered. The first was a long awaited and expected parcel for Steph as she has joined a gin club. I’m pretty sure it’s the most excited she’s been for quite a while. A new bottle of gin to try along with all sorts of mixers and snacks. She even started complaining that she didn’t have proper gin glasses so decided to use our prawn cocktail glasses (yes, that’s a thing!) which actually did a good job. I’m worried our midweek drinking is on the rise again. The second parcel was an early birthday present from my Mum which is a rose bush for our garden. I like to think it was picked specifically to reflect my character – beautiful, traditional and sweet smelling but with an occasionally prickly exterior – but actually I think she just wanted to add some more substance to our relatively empty flower beds. I also get to dig a big hole to plant it so that’ll be fun! 🌹 
5. Unbeknownst to me, Steph had taken the kids clothes shopping earlier as apparently both of their current wardrobes are far too old and small. Sure enough there was a pile of new clothes heaped up in the kitchen ready for me to inspect. I’m not sure why I had to inspect them as they had all clearly been carefully selected and nothing I could say would result in any returns. We were then treated to a catwalk show tonight with E modelling a variety of new dresses and jumpsuits. With her fat (but reducing) lip every photo looks like she is pouting and she looks far too grown up. I’ve decided I’d like both my kids to stop growing immediately as I love them just the way they are – just don’t wake up early tomorrow!! 👗

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Well after the overexcitement of yesterday from which I for one am still recovering, today was incredibly boring by comparison. The kids went off to Grandmas, Steph into the office and I was back on the #RemoteWorking. There’s something about weekdays which make them far less interesting. Oh yeh, that’s work. 
Anyway I’ve tried to rustle up a short top 5 for you to enjoy:

1. I have absolutely no idea what happened but I’ve somehow managed to injure my shoulder. It started hurting a little last night but got a lot worse overnight and this meant (unusually for me) I really didn’t sleep well. I’ve been in pain with it all day although the painkillers have taken the edge off. I really wish I knew what I’d done but I can only think I had too much adrenaline flowing during E’s accident yesterday and I’ve lifted something or twisted in a way which I wouldn’t normally. Sometimes being a SuperDad has consequences! 😫
2. Even though we had a relatively early night, the kids slept in this morning which is always a joy. I ended up going through to check on E and she was just waking herself up. The first thing she said to me was “Is it the weekend yet?” Now I mean she’s only 5 but if there’s anything to sum up how we all feel on a Monday morning it’s those 5 words! I had to break the news that there are 5 more sleeps before we reach the weekend but as she rightly pointed out that means only 5 sleeps until Daddy’s birthday. Every cloud… 🥳
3. In an attempt to continue his efforts to confound us and keep us on edge, M was picked up tonight having refused to go for a nap all day. Inevitably this meant he fell asleep in the car on the way home. Now last time that happened his body decided that it was only a nap so he woke up at 9.30pm ready for his usual evening activities. So tonight we tried to wake him up to give him a bottle but he just wasn’t having it. So we’ve had to give in and put him in his bed. We’ve then just been primed ready for him to waken up but so far not a peep. 🤞 
4. Tomorrow M has his settling in session at his new nursery so that is going to be quite an experience. I really hope the nursery staff know what they are letting themselves in for! E is also going in to try out their holiday club which is called Dragonflies. I told her tonight that was the name of her “room” and she just freaked out. I mean big time. When she’d calmed down she explained that she didn’t want to spend the morning in a room full of dragons and flies. Bless her. It isn’t a Bushtucker Trial! 🐉 
5. E got her new jigsaw this evening – it’s all about London. Of course she refused to go to bed until it was completed. She has trained me well to be her “jigsaw assistant”. I know my place. I’m in charge of separating the edges out first so she can construct the perimeter and then I’m allowed to pass her the inside pieces but at no point am I allowed to tell her where pieces go. It must be all her own work you see. And when she finished she announced that she needs to go and visit London now so she can visit the queen. Brace yourself London! You won’t know what’s hit you if my two turn up on a sightseeing tour! 🧩

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A day of contrasting emotions. Sundays are supposed to be relaxing whether kicking back at home or off doing things you don’t have time to do on the other 6 days of the week. They are definitely not meant to be emotional rollercoasters where you find yourself covered in blood before midday. 
One of the more unusual introductions in my diary but read on for the explanation as we dive into the top 5 which really is all about my darling daughter:

1. The first two of the top 5 today are very much like a sports match; a game of two halves. I’ve never felt such extremes of emotion in such quick succession and therefore it seems only right that both get their own entry. I should make clear that only one is a “top” whilst the other is very much the low point of the day! So after Steph came back from her morning run, I headed out for mine but this time was accompanied by E. She wanted to go out on her bike so I decided to tie the two activities together. We were going to do around 8k which is comfortably within her range. The only problem was that she kept slowing down and stopping so my run turned into some interval training. That made it much harder than it should have been. The railway line was busy and many of the passers by seemed to take a bit too much pleasure in telling me that I needed to go faster to keep up with her. I was genuinely trying. We even had a stop at half way to have a drink and our Double Trouble sweets (which seemed appropriate!) All went well for the first 6k…. 🏃‍♂️ 
2. … and then disaster struck. She had been showing off her zig zag skills which I suggested was not the best of ideas given how busy the path was and how much loose gravel there was, increasing the skid risk. Of course my independent daughter didn’t listen and before my very eyes wiped herself out and face planted the floor. Boy did she hit the ground hard. I’ve been told not to share the photographic evidence of the immediate aftermath but there was a lot of blood flowing and Daddy was helplessly squirting water from his bottle at her face. My incredibly brave little girl agreed to get back on her bike to ride to the nearest road so Mammy could pick us up. She has a grazed knee, a badly grazed thumb and genuinely the biggest fat and split lip I’ve ever seen. It’s like she’s had botched plastic surgery! She’s been well looked after of course and has enjoyed being waited on hand and foot. I just really hope the lip goes down overnight as even the frozen peas were pretty ineffectual. 🤕
3. We had planned to go to the garden centre anyway this afternoon to allow E to buy the first few things for her fairy garden. After her wipe out, it seemed to be the only promise that captured her attention. So off we set with a very sleepy M in tow. Steph was adamant she’d seen a whole selection at one garden centre so we headed there first but inevitably there was nothing really appropriate so ended up at a second centre. She stocked up good and proper and spent all of her points earned over the last 2 weeks. She couldn’t wait to get home and design everything. She knew exactly where it was all going and absolutely loves it. The only problem is M stealing items out of it for his own games but you can be rest assured she reprimands him any time he touches her garden! 🧚‍♀️
4. Whilst we were in the car driving from one garden centre to the next, E suddenly uttered a sentence which caused our hearts to plummet to the floor. We thought we had a couple more years and certainly weren’t expecting it in August. She said “Is Santa real? I don’t think he is real.” We just weren’t ready to have this conversation so I blurted out a response, “Well what do you think? Why on earth do you think he isn’t real?” She’d clearly been giving it some thought as she blurted out a series of reasons including how she hadn’t seen him but then as she reached the end of her list she concluded with “and I’ve never seen a reindeer so that proves he isn’t real. Actually I have seen a reindeer so I knew they are real and that must mean Santa is real!” A triumphant end to the conversation and Steph and I both started breathing again. 🎅🏼 
5. At the garden centre the kids always like to go and see the fish. Unfortunately as part of making it Covid-19 safe you can’t go into the aquarium section on a weekend unless you are buying. I had to explain this to a very upset E but as usual she never stops working out solutions to her life problems. Tonight when members of my family were FaceTimeing to see how her injuries were, she kept dropping into conversation that next time they are able to come and visit she is going to have a fish tank and some fish. It didn’t matter how many times we tell her, she is now adamant that she’s getting some fish. The problem is we know that M would probably batter said fish and not in a tasty way. Back to the drawing board! 🐟

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