LawyerLow Diaries

The third day of a long weekend is always a strange one as it technically feels like the extra day but in my experience rarely is productive. Bank holidays in lockdown is no different and for the third consecutive day I had grand plans in the morning but actually achieved relatively little. Of course the whole weekend has been a build up for the big Prime Minister announcement this evening. For us, it means nothing at all is going to change, certainly in the short term, which I guess means I need to keep going with my writing both of this diary and my twice weekly quizzes!
I certainly made the most of my Restday and we even skipped our daily walk, partly due to the intermittent showers. I might regret this tomorrow as I have to start the first of three early morning runs over the next 5 days. My legs will certainly be rested but hopefully not seized up! I’m definitely picking a flatter route tomorrow. 
We did manage to get a few things done and so there’s just enough to make up a Sunday special top 5:

1. All of our dreams came true this morning when the kids had a long lie and we didn’t actually have to get up before 7am. What a blissful experience, especially on a Sunday! When the kids did arrive in our room they were clearly well rested and raring to go which usually includes a demand to put on Paw Patrol immediately. We fobbed them off and E grabbed my phone for a bit. It wasn’t until tonight that I found the 150 selfies and have included a couple below. She has clearly been working on her pout! 😘 
2. I had a lovely catch up with my family today via video call as the kids played together upstairs. A perfect arrangement as it kept the noise downstairs to a minimum so I could take part in the conversation! All was well until I heard a humongous bang from upstairs. It really sounded like the roof had fallen in. I rushed up and to my horror found M lying underneath a chest of drawers which he had clearly been climbing up via the drawer fronts and it had toppled onto him. Please don’t worry – he’s absolutely fine but it was a huge shock. E was very quick to explain that she had been telling him not to do it (yeh, right!) I do worry this will be the first of many such similar events given that he’s such an explorer and is a complete risk taker. I’m not sure our hearts can take it. 🤕 
3. Today there was a real need for an essential shopping trip and I jumped to volunteer and have an hour of peace away from the kiddies. It remains a bit unreal that instead of the weekly shop being a chore, it is now a real highlight. Steph has put some socks for E down on the list so that gave me the excuse to wander into the clothes section in Sainsburys which really is an area into which I tend not to enter. It’s like a whole different world and it was completely deserted so I could take time to browse. So many clothes for the kids and let’s be honest this isn’t something I usually get involved in. Normally a massive bag from Next arrives after Steph has been online and that sorts the kids out for the next 6months! Anyway once I escaped from the clothing section I picked up all the food on the list (except, weirdly couscous – an essential of course!) and made it to the till. It was only then that I realised that I had picked up Steph’s credit card rather than mine and I don’t know the PIN. A panicked phone call but thank goodness she answered and I didn’t have to return everything! 💳 
4. M was in super naughty form today, ripping the wallpaper with a pencil, trashing everything he could find and painting our couch with blackcurrant juice. He topped all of this however just as I was arriving home. I walked in to find Steph in tears and E sat in a state of shock as a clump of her hair was sitting on the carpet. The little bully had pulled out a bit of E’s hair and when she told him off, he grabbed a massive handful and just yanked. Now I know we are all in need of some hairdresser attention but I don’t think we will resort to M’s barber skills! 💇‍♂️ 
5. Tonight when making tea a real gripe of mine threatened to cause a “discussion” to boil over. I’m sure you will all agree with me! We were grilling some tea and it needed turning over. Now, I’m pretty sure this is exactly what the tongs were designed for. We have so many utensils in our kitchen and I’m sure this is replicated across the world. Each utensil has been specifically developed with particular cooking needs in mind and really there is little crossover. You wouldn’t use a spatula to slice a joint of beef and you wouldn’t use a wooden spoon to fry an egg. So why on earth would you use a pair of scissors to turn over meat on the grill!?! Scissors are for cutting, not picking things up to flip! So apparently I’m wrong and it’s a perfectly acceptable use of that utensil. Feel free to wade into this argument in the comments! ✂️

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I feel like this weekend is turning into a pretty lazy one despite waking up with lots of plans and the best of intentions. The kids have definitely sussed out the difference between work days and non-work days and sadly know they can work their ticket a bit more when there’s two of us involved.
My amazing wife took one for the team this morning and dragged both of the tinkers downstairs so Daddy could have an extra hour in bed. Little did I know that was going to be important! I came down to find our lovely child free living room completely trashed, the furniture moved into unrecognisable positions and Frosties scattered across the carpet. “We are playing Daddy” came the explanation from the spokeswoman of the group. And so another day of chasing around after them and cleaning mess began. 
In amongst the dull and dreary daily grind of looking after a house and kids, there were some lighter moments which makes up today’s top 5:

1. So, of course, today was a Runday and after the fun and indulgence of the Afternoon Tea yesterday I needed to get back in the zone. I’m not sure which zone but I avoided it for the first few hours until I accepted I just needed to go and do my 14k. As I stepped out of the front door and the sun shone down on me, my first thought was I need to make sure I pace myself as it’s getting pretty hot, yet my second thought was let’s go on a new route involving a massive climb up Ushaw Moor Bank! I felt really good for the first half, even holding myself back to maintain that all important pace but as the temperature crept up, so did the incline and I was cream crackered. My legs were numb and I could feel my nose beginning to burn. My plan was that however hard the incline, it did mean my last mile and a half would be all downhill which would make for a pleasant finish. Of course I forgot that by that point running downhill with exhausted legs actually is quite dangerous and slow as I tried to stop myself from toppling over. I was so hot, sweaty and sore when I finished I just collapsed in the garden which M simply saw as an opportunity to sit on my stomach and ride me like a horse! Thank goodness I can rest tomorrow before another tough week with 4 runs in it. Thank you so much to those who have sponsored so far – it’s all going to Brain Tumour Research in memory of Sharky so please give what you can – the link is here. 🏃‍♂️ 🦈 ☀️ 
2. After seeing lots of the kids in the street mastering their bike riding during lockdown, E announced today that she had had enough and she wanted to learn. Now we’ve tried before to master this important life skill with very limited success but there’s nothing like a bit of self motivation. Steph did some work in the garden with her and she came on really well. The only real problem was her little brother trying to help and he kept running front of her so he could ring her bell and ask kept picking dandelions from the garden (the only colourful thing that I see capable of growing) and putting them into her basket. It’s over to Daddy tomorrow to take her out onto the street and carry our some speed work… 🚲 
3. We had a lovely FaceTime call with my mum this evening. The kids get so much joy from speaking to her and discussing their respective days and I’m pretty sure she feels the same. If they are really lucky, sometimes Grandma reads them a story over the video call. Well tonight the roles were reversed as E read Grandma a story. The photo is below but essentially Grandma was propped up on the coffee table (sober of course!) whilst E pretended to read the story of Little Red Riding Hood from a cookbook. It was a very cute scene and lots of imagination was going into the story which did vary a fair bit from the original if I recall! 📖 
4. We had a bit of a food emergency tonight when we realised that we had nothing in for the kids’ tea. Even the emergency drawer in the freezer, you know the one, full of beige coloured food which you don’t really want to give to the cherubs but sometimes needs must, was empty. I went to the cupboard and found the rice crackers that Steph had bought as snacks for the kids. Poor kids. Being forced to eat dust! The only thing I could find in the fridge was some bacon. So I shouted through to E to ask if she wanted a bacon sandwich for her tea. And she shouts back “No Daddy, that is for my breakfast. Bacon for breakfast is lovely. Bacon any other time is yukky.” Tough, I thought, and she blooming well had bacon. And she ate is all up and she loved it. Win for Daddy! 🥓 
5. Saturday night is now a double quiz night with hosting the swimming club quiz at 7pm before taking part in the Virtual Quiz with the in laws at 8pm. Tonight was a stonker with some cracking scores in the first quiz (and a very tight top 5) and then we romped to a very impressive 48/51 in the second. I’ll confess my brain hurts a little now after spending most of the afternoon writing the quiz but I get a few days off before the next one now. Physically and mentally exhausted – perhaps it wasn’t as much of a lazy day as I had thought! 🧠

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Well that was a pretty good Bank Holiday Friday. Glorious weather and lots of fun with the family. It’s amazing how much easier lockdown is when you take work out of the equation. Please note I said “easier” and not “easy”!
This morning was all about getting some jobs done around the house and this afternoon we had the remote street VE Day afternoon tea party which was a great success. 
All in all it was a relatively uneventful day in lockdown but there’s always enough going on to warrant a top 5:

1. So one of my jobs this morning was to tackle the humongous ironing pile that has built up in recent weeks. It’s been sitting there staring at me and I’ve been putting it off as who really needs ironed clothes during lockdown? But enough was enough and I took the plunge this morning. Item and item, including some of the kid’s clothes I’d forgotten they even had! I am mortified to admit that when I finally got to the very bottom I found Emma’s school uniform that had clearly been washed after her last day at school and not touched since. That’s a helluva long time! 😳 
2. We had a lovely opportunity to go for a family walk at lunchtime. Lovely because of the weather but also because during a work day normally I take the kids out whilst Steph is on the computer so it was a change to go out as a foursome. We really hadn’t got very far when I heard the familiar cry from E “I need the toilet!” Now, I am used to this and take it with a bit of a pinch of salt and then if she persists I encourage her to speed up so we can get home to the toilet. Inevitably when we finally get there she’s forgotten all about needing to go anyway. But Steph was far more sympathetic and immediately told her to walk just a bit further and then she could go as there was no one around. Fair enough, I thought, there are some bushes coming up and I’ll let the girls sort themselves out. Little did I realise that what was about to happen was a full blown removal of shorts and pants from under the dress and then a rather strange splits arrangement to allow her to pee right in the middle of the path. My attempt to take a photo to use in my diary was quickly blocked by Steph, but next time I think I’ll just stick to rushing the little monkey home! 🐒
3. We had the big VE Day celebrations ready for our street today and almost everyone joined in. Flags were flying, lots of red, white and blue and 40s costumes, bunting, music and a bit of very lush afternoon tea. Steph really knows how to knock up a good spread! We even managed to get the little man to sleep at the perfect time so we could sit on the drive without him trying to single handedly breach social distancing guidelines for everyone else present. It occurred to me half way through the afternoon that we are really lucky to live where we do and we have some wonderful neighbours. Sitting out on the drive in the sun, drinking prosecco and eating cucumber sandwiches and cake and chatting to your neighbours is perhaps not an everyday event but it was particularly special today given everything that is going on. Alas, the boy woke up and started playing with the balloons, throwing the gravel around and trying to hide in other people’s gardens whilst we chased after him. Some things remain constant after all! 🥂 
4. So you are already aware that M has been moved into a big boy bed during lockdown and as a result we have had to fit a baby gate onto his bedroom doorframe to stop a quick escape on an evening or early on a morning. Well, tonight I put him to bed ready for our Street Quiz (more of that below) and he suddenly appeared downstairs. Steph immediately assumed I just hadn’t shut the gate properly so I was dispatched upstairs again to put him back in his bed. 5 minutes later and he’s back in the living room, this time with his sister who we assumed had let him out of the baby gate. Re-fed and watered they were both taken back upstairs and yet again M came plodding down the stairs. By this point the truth was clear for all to see – he has already worked out how to open the gate by himself which means that bedtimes (and mornings are going to be even more challenging than usual!) Either that, or we’re off to invest is a more secure baby gate, perhaps with a combination lock! 🔒 
5. The day finished with the first ever Great Nook Night In – Lockdown Legends Pub Quiz which was the snappily titled inaugural online quiz for our street. I was able to have a rest from hosting duties which was great as instead I could just take part and demonstrate how bad my general knowledge really is! Fear not however, as I had my wife and chief accomplice to assist and with both a Disney and a James Bond round I knew she would be in her element. And she was. Except when she wasn’t. Or when I wasn’t. Or worse still when we both thought we knew the right answer but they were different answers. Who has the casting vote in an equal marriage? Well, I can tell you that taking it in turns backfired big time and every time that happened we plonked for the wrong answer. Cue the retribution and post quiz analysis – we will definitely need to pull our socks up for the next one! ⁉️

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So I guess it is the weekend already – 4 days weeks are definitely the way forward and the weirdness of a Friday Bank Holiday continues to confuse me and hopefully a few other people. I have tried very hard today to stay in a positive frame of mind and not lose my rag with the little terrors. This was put to the test very early doors when they both rocked up in our bedroom shortly after 5am. I’m not sure whether it is the early sunrises but there is ABSOLUTELY NO NEED for such an early start and flapping at them to go away seems to have no effect. 
After picking up a pack from school yesterday with this term’s work for E we planned to hit the #HomeSchooling hard today. We even went with Work as the theme to try and motivate both her and her Mammy and Daddy with their #RemoteWorking. Sadly the reality hit that my previous observation that there was a channel dedicated to Paw Patrol for a day was entirely wrong and it is in fact back to back episodes for an entire month! My kids would genuinely sit and watch every episode on repeat until their brains explode. We have taken to bribing them away from the TV. 
Before the three day weekend starts for real, let’s have the top 5:

1. The 10 Marathon Relay continues in earnest and I completed leg 12 this morning. Today was a killer and my legs were like jelly even before I completed the first mile. Think Jonny Brownlee at the World Triathlon Series in Mexico in 2016! This is definitely going to be a harder challenge than even I thought as I still have another 9 runs to go and they look like getting harder each time. One positive is that Steph noticed some rather impressive tan lines this morning and I’m guessing when I’m finished doing a 5k Parkrun will literally be a walk in the park! If you haven’t sponsored us yet please consider it – every penny makes a difference to Brain Tumour Research. The link is here 🏃‍♂️ 
2. The kids continue to eat us out of house and home. I’m not sure where the appetite comes from but it just doesn’t stop all day. This morning for breakfast M had a crumpet, a chocolate crepe and a bowl of soft fruit but by the time it got to 8.30am he was hungry again and demanded a banana. E, in her continued march towards total independence before her 6th birthday, keeps helping herself which included reaching the bread bin, finding a bagel, cutting it in half and then folding it back together and eating it. Not toasted, no topping, and apparently it was just what she needed! 🥯 
3. E came into the kitchen at lunchtime very upset because she apparently had a sore back. I was very sympathetic (being the good Daddy I am) and asked if she needed it rubbing or kissing better. “No, Daddy, I need a goat!” Now what is anyone supposed to do with that response? I enquired further (always dangerous) and apparently she wanted to wait for a baby goat (“it’s called a kid you know Daddy”) to arrive. When I asked why, all became clear. Apparently they run really fast so they can get to her quickly and then the kid can scratch her back with its horns. So she had an itchy back. That’s what it was all about!!!! 🐐
4. One negative of lockdown so far has been the attitude E has developed which we are struggling to manage. She is extremely demanding and very bossy and just will not take no for an answer to anything. When I was trying to explain something to her today she kept interrupting and I just said “You’re being really rude to me”. She just looked at me with such distain and said “No, I’m not. I’m being assertive.” Now whoever taught her that needs a good chat with me so please feel free to own up! This was perhaps only topped by her repeated comments on our lunchtime walks about how she needs the toilet and “My body is pushing it out now Daddy” which anyone walking past seems to find hilarious. 😬
5. The essential weekly shop needed doing today, particular ahead of the socially distant and remote VE Day garden party we are having in our street tomorrow. Steph decided to take one for the team (which actually just means she wanted to get out of the house and away from the horror bags) so off she went in the car to the shops. Half an hour later she returns and I’ll confess I was pleasantly surprised she was back so quickly so should could help with bath and bedtime. It turns out she got all the way there and parked the car only to discover she had no purse and no money so she drove all the way back to get my wallet and headed off out again. The things she does to get some extended peace and quiet! 👛

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I cannot believe this is the 50th consecutive diary entry I have written. Where has the time gone? Bringing up a half century in lockdown was certainly not what I expected when I started this diary all those weeks ago.
Today we reached V in our #HomeSchooling and it just had to be VE Day. She’s coloured in some great bunting to put up on Friday and even M tried to help. It’s a pretty tricky topic to teach a 5 year old about but I feel I did a pretty good job. “But why were they fighting Daddy?” was not a straightforward one to answer and perhaps was only topped with “But why did they have a party if so many people died?” – perhaps we should have gone with Violin! Only W to tick off tomorrow and then a 3 day weekend. I’m definitely voting for Whisky. 
Right the top 5 today were easy:

1. An overheard conversation between Steph and E from this morning whilst I was trying to work:
“E, what’s M playing with?”
“The pan lids.”
“But why aren’t they in the kitchen?”
“Because daddy let me. He let me have three things because I was making cocoa and veggies.”
“Veggies?”
“Yes veggies and hot hot cocoa” (while wiggling her bottom and bending her knees up and down)
“Why are you wiggling?”
“Because it’s hot hot hot cocoa Mammy (whilst wigging and bending again) 🤷🏼‍♂️
2. I was in charge of bedtime tonight and the kids have taken to tucking themselves into E’s bed together for their story before I try and coax M into his own room. So when I come in I clear off all the clothes off the bed as the kids are hiding underneath. In amongst the pile I discovered a metal saucepan and lid. I immediately assumed it was left over from this morning’s game but when I picked it up I realised it was stuffed full of pants. Who knew Steph had been served pants flavoured cocoa this morning!! ☕️ 
3. I bought E a lovely jumpsuit and today is the first day, of many, that she’ll be wearing it. So, E pops off to the toilet and then Steph hears ‘Mammy I need some help’. Steph goes in to investigate and finds E has tried to pull her pants down but they are stuck at the top of her thighs as she hadn’t realised she wasn’t wearing a dress. I suppose it is a work in progress! 👗
4. I am conscious I haven’t mentioned my #RemoteWorking much in my diary possibly because it doesn’t contain much that I can share, nor indeed much you might find interesting! We’ve all seen the hilarious video calls where children burst into the background during TV interviews or important meetings and to be frank that hasn’t happened here mainly because my wife has been amazing at keeping the kids entertained whilst I’m working. Until today. I had a client in France on the phone this afternoon about a new instruction and in burst M. I was in full flow and so couldn’t mute my phone and let’s be honest, M isn’t quiet. No amount of gesticulating or finger waving could stop him from singing his happy song at the top of his voice. The client was very understanding as I kicked him out of the room and I don’t think Steph even realised what had happened. She might when she reads this diary!! 🤫
5. Tonight was my 10th time hosting an online Zoom quiz. It’s become quite the sideline and perhaps I should be thinking about moonlighting as a quizmaster after lockdown is ended. The only negative is that between writing my quizzes and writing my diary I am not spending any quality time with my wife in the evenings. I’m very worried that I’m neglecting her as I’m looking up obscure facts about 20th century history and Swedish pop bands. I don’t think I should be worried though as when I think about it she actually seems quite delighted I’m keeping busy and out of her hair. 🤓

Another day of mashing together #HomeSchooling and #RemoteWorking. I’ve been thinking today how hard it is going to be for the kids to return to their “usual” routine once this is all over. I mean, Mammy and Daddy are counting down the seconds and can’t wait to get back into the office but the little cherubs have been spoilt rotten with so much time with us. You can tell already how much they have changed as they have both become incredibly bossy. I almost lost it this evening when E very rudely demanded I throw this “stuff” in the bin and make her the tea she wanted instead. I am delighted to report that not only did I not lose it but that “stuff” was eaten all up before pudding was allowed.
Tonight, a bit like bedtime, there’s no messing about and we’re straight into the top 5:

1. Running the Relay. Today was another Runday and boy is it getting hard. The legs are heavy in mile one let alone mile 9! I was set the challenge of taking a photo each run of something unusual which I have found incredibly difficult. Not only have I not seen anything unusual but also I really don’t want to stop to take any photos as I’m worried I won’t get going again! Today I did pass a black lamb and a white lamb head butting each other so stopped to take a snap (selfie below). I thought there might be a witty and ironic caption about racial tension but I decided against it. As ever, a big thank you to those who have supported so far and for those who haven’t yet here’s the link again! www.justgiving.com/fundraising/DaveLow 🏃‍♂️ 🦈 
2. Dusting the Duck. M has taken to assisting with the housework which in normal circumstances would be lovely. The problem is he keeps breaking things. Today he decided to dust our family of lovey ducks and somehow managed to take a chunk out the baby duck’s foot. We have no idea how he managed it, nor where the missing part has gone. It’s probably stashed the same place as my toothbrush head (both of them) as they have still not been found. My breath is starting to really smell now! 🦆 
3. Splashing the Cash. E, of course, wanted to spend her tooth fairy money today and fortunately had moved on from her lipstick idea. Instead she went to the local shop (for local people!) and had a good look to see what £2 could get her. She discovered the £1 bargain aisle and worked out she could get 2 things. Now I assumed she would just come back with a pile of chocolate so imagine my surprise when her choices ended up being a 5 pack of Tango freeze at home sour ice lollies and a pack of 8 cherry and sultana scones! “We haven’t had scones in ages Daddy” was the explanation I received which doesn’t seem to be the sort of thing a 5 year old should say! 💰 
4. Milky Way, Galaxy and Mars. I can’t believe we’re almost at the end of the alphabet in our #HomeSchooling themes. Today was U and therefore to finish off our space worksheets we copped out and went for Universe. I took great delight in trying to teach E about galaxies, solar systems and planets but the theme she picked up was chocolate which is fair enough really. When I asked her what the third planet from the sun was (as a joke) and she said “Earth” I was quite taken aback. Maybe some stuff is sticking. We do need to stop bribing her with chocolate though otherwise we might need to send in some emergency supplies to her school when it reopens! 🪐 
5. Friendship Day. I have been pondering whether the lack of social influence will impact on my kids development in the long term. Deep, I know. Perhaps they will be more rounded given that my experience of 5 year olds generally is an unhealthy obsession with bodily functions and noises. But I want to reassure E in particular that she will see her friends again and she will get to go back to school. So I asked her today who she would want to invite round from her class when the lockdown was lifted. 
“Everyone Daddy”
“But if you could only have one”
“Can I have five?”
“No, only one”
“But why?”
“It’s just pretend. Which of your friends would you want to see first?”
“Mr Baxter. And then we could have a Friendship Day and the whole class would have to come too.”
Sometimes, dear reader, my heart does just melt. 💜

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Unbelievable that we’re onto yet another Monday and I do think every Monday gets a little harder to get through. I was reminded early on that it’s a 4 day week so that gave everything a silver lining. 
#HomeSchooling was back with a bang as we tried to teach E all about Time! Steph definitely did a better job than me – I hadn’t really realised that 24 hours in a day and 60 minutes in an hour, split into 12 x 5minute intervals is a pretty complex concept for a 5 year old. I clearly needed to spend more time on my lesson plans or maybe I should’ve just gotten her to watch Doctor Who. Time travel would have really confused her! 
There were 5 lessons I learnt today, so here goes:

1. Don’t let your 5 year old speak to her teacher on the phone without careful supervision. Poor Mr Baxter called this morning for his weekly chat and E actually decided she wanted to speak to him. He was told all about her tooth falling out and the fairy arriving and leaving £2 under her pillow (I know, I know, I was feeling generous!) He asked her what she was going to do with the money and after some careful thought she announced to him that she was going to buy herself some lipstick! I mean what must he think of our parenting? 💄 
2. Don’t hide from your daughter when out for a walk. M had an early nap today so I had the joyous opportunity to have a 1 on 1 walk with E at lunchtime. She got herself all ready with her high heels and off we trotted. About half way round she started flagging and was randomly talking to some trees so I ended up a little ahead. There was a gap in the bush so I jumped in thinking it would be funny to scare her. It wasn’t. All I ended up with was a crying little girl who thought her Daddy had left her by herself in the middle of nowhere. Cue my self loathing and no amount of chocolate mousse when we got home could make me feel better so I gave some to her and all was well. 😢
3. Don’t leave your 1 year old in a car by himself with the car key. We were loading up to head to the bank and I strapped M in before coming back to get E. Now the little monster likes to play with the car key so I thought, what’s the harm? Well little did I know the devil would lock the car from the inside and just smile sweetly whilst I was trying to explain to him how to press the unlock button. I sent Steph to try and find the spare key but in the meantime of course the car alarm went off as the sensors are activated when it is locked. Fortunately the spare key was in the man drawer and so disaster was averted! 🔑 
4. Don’t try and beat E in an argument. I have no idea where she gets it from but if you are trying to tell her something she doesn’t want to hear, she just talks over you. And she is really good at it. She just talks and talks. It’s like the best ever performance on Just A Minute. She doesn’t pause to breathe and just connects one sentence to the next even with the most tenuous of links. If I try to interrupt she just stares me down and when I stop she says “That… Daddy… was rude. I hadn’t finished and you shouldn’t interrupt!” I mean who does she think she is? 🗣
5. Always check the toilet seat before sitting down. The kids continue to enjoy a mix of showers and baths and their parents are just overjoyed that they are so clean! Now when they go in the shower I just sit on the toilet seat (lid down) to supervise and make sure nothing untoward happens. Tonight I was in my place as M was in first and E came running in counting down from 5. I quickly realised this was her standard “when I reach 0 a wee is going to come” chat so I jumped out of the way. When she was finished she got in the shower with M and I plonked myself down on the toilet. Without the lid down. I didn’t realise quite how hard I sit down but I was very nearly wedged! 🚽

A Sunday and a Runday – what more could a man want during lockdown? Well, that isn’t a rhetorical question as I have a few answers. Not being completely exhausted for a start. In fact the whole family was exhausted today – maybe all the excitement of lockdown is catching up with us.
There is also a disagreement going on about tomorrow’s #HomeSchooling as we are onto the letter T and cannot agree which theme to go with. I’m not running a poll but feel free to put forward any great suggestions!
Whilst we had a lazy afternoon watching the (not so) classic Charming, the top 5 all happened this morning:

1. Interesting chat this morning with E about the difference between boys and girls. There were two pigs getting married on the TV (don’t ask!) and I commented that pigs don’t get married. “Of course they do” came the reply “he’s a boy pig and she’s a girl pig”. I feel I might have made a mistake by pushing the conversation further but I was genuinely interested to see what answer she would give about the difference and she certainly didn’t disappoint!
“Well, you see Daddy, girls have long hair and boys have short hair. And boys smell but girls smell of perfume.”
“Oh, right”
5 minutes later…
“Daddy, I forgot that boys have willies and girls have private parts!” 🍆
2. So you are all aware of my distaste of Paw Patrol which has played far too prominent a part in lockdown so far in this house. Every time the TV is switched off either E starts whining for Paw Patrol or M takes my hand and leads me back to the living room before handing me the remote and looking expectantly into my eyes. So when I woke up this morning I decided we were going to at least have 24 hours without any of those blasted pups. Little did I know that Nickelodeon had other plans and they had changed one of their channels into a Paw Patrol channel for the day so there was literally no escape when the TV went on. 📺 
3. After threatening to do, E has today taken great delight in painting my toe nails. Now it doesn’t really matter to me – no one sees me these days, especially my bare feet – but I am a bit concerned by the slightly rough and ready attitude which means it’s not just my nails which are now multicoloured. I’m assuming that nail polish comes off skin just as easily as it does off nails. This is not the voice of experience! 💅🏼 
4. There are a number of things that as parents you never want to hear. Steph heard one of those today. E came running in holding a nappy saying “I think M’s had a poo!” Now how they got this nappy off him, we still can’t work out but suffice to say when he came trotting in shortly after, holding himself, Steph assumed the very worst. Fortunately disaster was averted when it was discovered that it was only slightly wet. So he’s started hiding toothbrushes (the new one from this morning has also gone missing) and is also taking off his own nappies! 💩 
5. This morning I did my latest leg in our 10 marathon challenge. I can’t believe I have run over 60k this week. I know some readers are avid runners but for most of us, that is a silly amount and my legs are definitely feeling it now. Once again thank you so much to everyone who has sponsored so far – click here if you still want to! When I finished I got in the bath to try and soak my legs – pretty sure it was the first bath I’ve had since coming home from scout camps as a teenager! Just to be clear I have occasionally showered in the intervening period! With hindsight it was a mistake as trying to get out of the bath when my legs had seized up was a challenge and made me look like I had aged 50 years! Bring on rest day tomorrow! 🛀

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What a wonderful day. Now I haven’t said that very often during lockdown, but credit where it’s due. The kids slept *relatively* well and things have been pretty laid back. Daily exercise was done, Steph picked up the essential shopping, kids were kept entertained, I hosted one online quiz and played another. 
Not trying to juggle work definitely makes a difference. I couldn’t help but think today that when this is all over the relationship I have with my kids will be irreversibly changed and it will make spending significantly less time with them every day very hard. Now don’t get me wrong, they are complete pains in the backside, but they are my pains and I wouldn’t change them for the world. Well maybe I’d change them a bit. Perhaps the naughty behaviour would be removed and don’t you dare tell me that it’s all part of the joy of parenting. M in particular just looks for trouble and boy does he know where to find it. This morning I discovered him running between toilets, dunking his hands in each. After removing him downstairs I discovered that our toothbrushes have gone missing (and still haven’t been found!) The mind boggles…
Right, the top 5 of today:

1. We have helped E build a den under her bed which is now her reading corner. The problem is that she wants a curtain (blanket) hanging down to keep it hidden and that makes it too dark. So we bought her some fairy lights and whilst she was watching those blasted Pups (Paw Patrol 😡) this morning we hung them up as a surprise. She was suitably delighted and insisted that she should sleep there tonight. I convinced her that this might confuse the tooth fairy (delayed from last night if you recall) – need to think of a new argument for tomorrow night! 💡
2. We had some video calls with family today which always gives us a lift. A definite highlight was my sister trying to explain to E about how her husband is working night shift at the hospital this week. The point of the story was about the night hand cream I had bought her for her birthday and how she used it on my brother in law this morning to try and help him sleep, but all E heard was that he worked at night and slept during the day. She suddenly grinned from ear to ear and shouted “UNCLE JONNY IS NOCTURNAL!” She was genuinely so excited. Perhaps the #HomeSchooling is going better than we thought! 🌓 
3. We decided to make some rocky road today. Now I’ve made this before but clearly Steph has a very different recipe to what I remember! 1.4kg of chocolate to melt before we even get to start adding anything! E very much enjoyed taking a hands on approach and of course it was really very simple. It will come as no surprise that any calories I have burned with all my running this week was put back on, plus some. But once I’d finished licking the bowl we managed to finish and have ended up with two massive trays of high sugar, high fat treats. Steph has already decided that it’s too rich for M so it’s going to be hard to avoid snacking on a 20 minute basis! 🍫 
4. We went on a lovely long walk this afternoon and managed to dodge the rain. It wasn’t planned to be a long one, hence no coats and E really went to town on her outfit including her high heels! But then she wanted to keep going and the little man was trotting along beind very happily so we just kept going. They both brought their toy mobile phones and took great pleasure in pretending they were on important work calls. I do have to confess that M took a couple of tumbles, particularly when his legs were getting tired. On one occasion he just tripped on a hole in the path and face planted the floor. Like a good Daddy I rushed over, leaned over and took a quick photo before picking him up and dusting him down. This diary has clearly changed me, and perhaps not for the better!! 🧎🏼‍♂️
5. As part of their stylist day, E took great pleasure in doing my hair (lots of bobbles and clips with no incriminating photos!) this morning, and then tonight she did Steph’s nails. I’m actually quite impressed how well she did – my main concern is she seems quite keen to do my toenails tomorrow. Apparently it will help me run faster… 💅🏼

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We definitely have the Friday feeling here in the Low household and are very much looking forward to the weekend, mainly so the impossible shift working can be put on hold for 2 days. I hope all my readers are in a similar position and can try and do something a little different over the weekend (obviously whilst still complying with Government guidelines) just to break up the monotony. 
Today was also marked by the fact all 4 of us are absolutely knackered. A good nights sleep has been needed for a while now and sadly has remained elusive. We live in hope that tonight might be the night! After M’s 4 hour nap this afternoon I think perhaps not!
For #HomeSchooling we are onto S and it had to be Space. Lots of worksheets and educational books and E really took to it. In a break with the normal rules I’m thinking we might extend the theme into tomorrow just because I want to build a rocket with the kids and didn’t get a chance today. 
Right here we go with the top 5:

1. You can see below how we found E when we went to bed last night – sleeping under her bed (yes you read that right) using her yoga mat as a duvet. I sometimes have no idea what goes through her gorgeous little head! Being the big strong Daddy I am, I picked her up and put her into her bed which was apparently the wrong thing to do as she “wanted to sleep underneath and it was really comfy!” I thinks she’s struggling with lockdown to be honest! 🛏 
2. After finally getting to sleep, we were constantly awoken by E, first for the toilet and then because she wanted a drink. Steph tried to discuss it with her this morning but let’s just say it didn’t go well. So Daddy stepped in to bring a bit of skilled advocacy to the situation. I explained in detail that she could go to the toilet without waking us up, and if she really is thirsty then I could arrange for some water to be left on her desk. Even the most skilled litigator would have been thrown by the counter argument which was said so earnestly I couldn’t help but pay attention:
“But Daddy the animals wake me up. And I’m scared. You know, the owls and the foxes and the unicorns. They are really noisy. So I just need to come into your bed.”
I admitted defeat at this point and hope the tiredness just takes over and she sleeps through tonight! 🦄 
3. Today was a Runday so I had to knock out another 8.5miles before breakfast. I’m finding it hard to believe I’ve run 50k this week so far – legs are definitely feeling it! It also crossed my mind during today’s run that it has a lot of similarities to lockdown. I started full of optimism and a can do attitude. I set what I thought was a sensible pace. I hit some pretty dark moments when it all seemed a bit too much and the end seemed so far away. I ate some chocolate to help keep me going. I somehow found my inner strength when the end was in sight and ended up blasting through the finish line. We can and we will make it (I’ll leave you to decide whether I’m talking about my running challenge or lockdown now!) Please don’t forget to sponsor me if you haven’t already – www.justgiving.com/fundraising/DaveLow 🏃‍♂️ 
4. We decided to play board games tonight, something which I know my wife loves to do and we really don’t do enough. E has a great one all about performing (act, say or do challenges) and M likes to take control of the dice rolling. He just gets so excited. It’s designed for kids so not that challenging for us adults, except apparently for my mime of eating a boiled egg which stumped everyone. My definite highlight was when my card said “Scare another player” which I ignored initially and chatted to E before suddenly jumping at Steph and screaming. She literally jumped off the couch and it was the funniest thing. Well, it was for me, E and M! 🤭
5. The other big event of today was E losing her second tooth. She finds the whole experience very exciting and I’m sure she’s listened to what we’ve said about needing to brush her teeth to stop them rotting and therefore has deliberately stopped brushing them! I know already I’ll be in big trouble as we both forget to put the tooth under her pillow at bedtime tonight so she’ll have to wait another 24 hours for her 10p (that is the going rate, right?) 🦷

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