Well, we have nearly made it dear reader. As we approach the first anniversary of the first lockdown, my online diary is drawing to a close. Only 3 days left so you will get a midweek special to finish!
But before we get to that, we need to get on with this penultimate entry. Of course today we have been celebrating Mother’s Day and I want to send a lot of love to all the mums, mams, grandmas, great grandmas, mothers-in-law, step mums, foster mums and in fact anyone else who marks this day. Obviously I want to make a special mention to Steph as well as my mum and mother-in-law, all of whom put up with me to a greater or lesser extent! I can’t believe this is the second year of lockdown for this day but I guess all the afternoon tea suppliers are looking at the positive! The kids went all out today for Steph including a super emotional poem from E about growing up. I’m not crying, you are!
Of course it’s been a big week with the reopening of schools so what ended up making the top 5?
1. We were relieved that E’s return to school went so smoothly, and we certainly didn’t take it personally when she skipped back in without a backwards glance, and has enjoyed telling us how delighted she is to be back with her teacher (and friends). Her thirst for learning knows no bounds and led to a very important father/daughter life lesson. The dreaded birds and the bees chat. She started with the obvious question “Where did I come from?” I’ll be honest, I tried a sneaky trick (which backfired) by responding with “well, where do you think?” She’s clearly been paying attention when she told me, “Mammy’s tummy” so I thought I’d allow the conversation to continue “But how did you get there?” I was not expecting her response: “I was made by God on the beach and then he decided you and Mammy would be the perfect match for me so he just took me from the beach and put me into Mammy’s tummy but then I wanted to meet you and talk to you so I had to come out quickly!” To be honest I’m okay with that version – it’s close enough so I’ll just leave it for now and get Steph to talk to her when she’s 18… 
2. Speaking of the facts of life, E accompanied me up to the farm shop again this weekend so we could pick up some treats for Steph’s Mother’s Day breakfast. She insisted we pop in to see the animals and to our surprise we saw Big Dave (the pig for those not local!) awake and moving around, which I can’t recall ever having seen before. We glanced in on the chickens and I pointed out an egg. I wasn’t expecting the response: “Is it a normal one or does it have a chick in it?” I feel we might be failing as parents if she thinks the eggs we eat at home (or possibly chocolate ones) are “normal” rather than ones which hatch into chicks! More life lessons needed! 
3. I feel obliged to bring in work’s step challenge at this point given the ante is really ramping up in our house. Somehow we have both managed over 100,000 steps over the course of the week and the poor kids are exhausted from being dragged out on walks. Steph is onto Couch 2 5k and I’m trying to run when I can and there’s a daily comparison of data. I must say I think it’s not that healthy for our relationship but when my team takes top spot and I have a trophy to proudly display in the living room so everyone knows who the champ is, I’m sure it will all end well. 
4. Picking M up from nursery on Friday night was a bit more eventful than one might hope. He was heavily laden with Mother’s Day gifts and art work which of course I had to carry to the car whilst he stuffed his face with his fruit snack. Whilst crossing the road he was too busy eating to actually look where he was going so inevitably face planted the ground and lost his fruit in the process. Cue tears, not because he was hurt but because he loves fruit. I got him strapped in and put his items on the back seat including, in pride of place, his hand decorated plant pot full of soil and a planted seed. Half way home a line of pheasants wandered out in front of the car (imagine a line of waddling ducks) and I didn’t fancy perpetrating a mass pheasant-icide. Brakes slammed on, no animals or humans hurt, but plant pot now upside down on the floor of the car. I tried to scoop everything up and fill it again when we got home but it seemed to be mainly raisins and old McDonald’s chips rather than soil! M took great pleasure in presenting it to his Mammy when we got home however and she was suitably delighted. 
5. Probably the most important development of the week has been the start of M’s potty training. He has basically decided himself the time is now as he’s started sitting on the toilet off his own back, and keeps taking off his nappies and running around with a naked bottom half! I was therefore dispatched to buy some dinosaur pants and left Steph to cover the basics with him. I arrived home to find them discussing matters in the kitchen. She was asking him where he goes for his wees and poos and he just kept shouting WEE and POO at her. The word toilet is clearly a step too far for him to tackle. But, as I helpfully pointed out to my wife, he now has two new words in his vocabulary and I suspect like most boys they will feature heavily well into his teenage years. He might be relieved this diary is coming to an end so you don’t have to suffer a week by week account of his toileting progress! 
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