Sheer relief! After 24 hours of self isolation we had the wonderful news that Steph’s coronavirus test was negative. Suffice to say it took me no time at all to pack the kids into the car and deliver them to school and nursery! I’m not sure who was most delighted about their return. I suspect it was me.The prospect of 14 days of self isolation is certainly not enticing so I, for one, will be continuing to do whatever I can to avoid that happening. Fingers crossed this is the closest we will come to it. Stay safe everyone. Back to today, and we’ll rattle through the top 5:
1. I found myself very perplexed by the state of my son this morning. First he had 11 pieces of his Frozen jigsaw hidden in his bed, which perhaps partly explained why I found him last night fast asleep on his floor, lying on top of his jigsaws. Surely not as comfortable as a cuddly toy! Second his pyjama bottoms were both inside out and back to front. Now I got him ready for bed last night and they were definitely the right way round, so I can only surmise that he took them off during the night and then put them back on himself. What on earth is he up to? 
2. We were delighted to be able to tell E that Mammy didn’t have coronavirus as she was very concerned. The reassurance was very welcome. She asked why Steph was still coughing but I just explained that it was something else as she had been for a test. My daughter then explained that we needed to be very careful and perhaps I should contact the government to make sure it was okay for her to return to school. Or apparently the police. Or indeed the queen. Those are seemingly the only people or bodies who can tell us what to do. Now where’s that direct line to Boris? 
3. In the car on the way to school I impressed upon E the importance of not making a big deal about being off and whatever she did not to start talking about “Mammy having coronavirus” because she doesn’t. I thought I had made my point but sadly not. From what I’ve managed to find out after picking her up, her entire class will have gone home and told their parents that E’s mammy has a bad cough, is in bed and has coronavirus. 
4. When we pulled up on the drive we discovered that our poor mole statue outside has suffered a fatal accident. I’m not sure if the bin thief is back and is branching out but somehow there has been a double amputation. I did wonder if he had just fallen over but it must have been quite a bump to cause such irreparable damage. E is concerned that there is a criminal out there targeting garden gnomes and animals – who knows what might be next. She’ll be wanted security cameras installed to protect her fairy garden if I’m not careful. I’ve reassured her that the fairies are more than capable of looking after themselves! 
5. Both kids were high as kites when they got home tonight and basically trashed everything. The old karaoke machine was taken out and we had a bit of a kitchen disco whilst the tea was cooking. We even had time to sneak in a little game of musical statues. I tried to rattle through the bedtime routine after that but E was determined to “go slow”. When I tried to get her to get herself changed she nonchalantly informed me that I’m not the boss of her. I confirmed I really was, but she retorted that the queen is the boss. And I need to be careful about saying anything different otherwise there will be “consequences”. This apparently includes banning me from London. I don’t know where all this royal chat is coming from! 
LawyerLow Diaries 