Well we all bounced out of bed this morning ready to make the most of a new day and indeed a whole new week. I had work, E had #HomeSchooling, Steph had childcare and M had trouble, trouble and a bit more trouble to find.
The lesson planning for E appears to be slipping a bit now so I really hope we don’t get an Ofsted inspection any time soon! Continuing the fish theme from yesterday, she did a whole bunch of RE (more about that later) and made some fish for her classmates. I’m really not sure how we are going to post them however. M in the meantime is supporting his sister’s education by annoying her, distracting her, running around in circles until he hits his head on something or belting out the soundtrack from Frozen 2. Why anyone would want us in their bubble is beyond me!
So I’m amongst the #RemoteWorking we did have a few things sneaking into the top 5:
1. Now I like to think I’m quite savvy when it comes to the outdoors. I credit my scouting days for the nous I do have – tent erecting, outdoor cooking, navigation and the like. Years of scout camps both as a boy and then as a leader have guaranteed that! One thing that however has never been a challenge, from day 1, was toileting. It’s the joy of being a boy. Out in the wilderness, very little thought needs to go into popping off for a wee. Now I’m a dad and I envisage very little difficulty with M when we are out and about. E, on the other hand, presents a slightly different challenge. I’m learning however and was clearly overconfident when she announced she was desperate for the toilet during our lunchtime walk. Rather than try and convince her to hold it in, I nonchalantly found a spot in the bushes for her. I’m not sure exactly what happened next but I feel it’s quite an achievement to both direct your wee almost entirely into your pants and sting your bum on a nettle at the same time. Nature 1, Daddy 0! 🌳
2. E invented a new game during our walk today. It was the type of game all men fear yet are expected to be experts in without any warning or training. I had to guess what she was thinking! Fortunately she was allowed to give me two clues before I had to guess. In a cunning twist (presumably a nod to equal rights!) I then got a go and she had to guess what I was thinking. In an attempt to continue her schoolwork, my clues were “he is omnipresent” and “he has a famous son.” E found that really easy but sadly it led us into a question blackhole where I began to struggle really badly to get out coherent answers which were age appropriate. Any I did manage to answer simply led to another, even more challenging, question. This included “Why did Jesus die?” “Was Jesus a baby when he died?” “Why did Jesus have two fathers?” and, weirdly, “Do babies have to use wheelchairs if they don’t learn to walk quickly enough?” I’ve never understood the female brain! ✝️
3. Steph decided today that a further deep clean of the kid’s rooms was necessary. I mean I agreed with the principle but could think of nothing worse than trying to sort out their toys and clothes. But like a good husband I rolled up my sleeves and mucked in. I basically just did what I was told and initially that involved crawling under E’s bed into her secret den to pull everything out so it could be sorted through. After throwing everything out from the floor I turned my attention to the little 4 box unit under there. Two of the cupboard spaces have little doors. I swung one open and it was empty (winner!!) so I flipped open the second which was also empty except for the lifeless body of a huge, hairy rat! I freaked out big time! I twisted round to make a run for it and there was E who silently reached past me and picked it up before saying “I was looking for that wig.” Suffice to say it wasn’t a wig, it was a massive clump of hair she had rescued from Steph’s hairbrush and adopted as some kind of weird pet. Maybe I should consider buying her that fish! 🐀
4. Just before teatime the girls were in the living room and Steph decided she wanted to watch the daily Government briefing. She warned E that was what she was putting on the TV so she could get the latest about coronavirus just to try and preempt a hissy fit about the lack of Paw Patrol. Instead E just picked up the iPad and said “I’m taking this to my room as I need to watch my programme about the coronavirus to find out the news.” And so she did. We think she has now connected positive news about coronavirus directly with when she can see all her grandparents again, which gives us joy and sadness in equal measures. She will just be beside herself when she finally gets to visit them properly!! 🦠
5. As is my usual routine in these strange times, Monday night means yoga! A chance to have some time of relaxation and body awareness. If only the kids would stay in bed so it doesn’t turn into a time of high stress and mental awareness. I’m slowly getting to learn some of the poses even if my flexibility and core are sadly lacking. A particular highlight this week was attempting the Goddess pose for the first time. I definitely channeled my inner goddess which has a tad more sass than I was anticipating. I also really need to remember to shut the curtains; there are some weird and wonderful sights and I don’t want to scare the neighbours! 🧝♀️
LawyerLow Diaries 
Impressive warrior pose 🧘🏼
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