Unbelievable that we’re onto yet another Monday and I do think every Monday gets a little harder to get through. I was reminded early on that it’s a 4 day week so that gave everything a silver lining.
#HomeSchooling was back with a bang as we tried to teach E all about Time! Steph definitely did a better job than me – I hadn’t really realised that 24 hours in a day and 60 minutes in an hour, split into 12 x 5minute intervals is a pretty complex concept for a 5 year old. I clearly needed to spend more time on my lesson plans or maybe I should’ve just gotten her to watch Doctor Who. Time travel would have really confused her!
There were 5 lessons I learnt today, so here goes:
1. Don’t let your 5 year old speak to her teacher on the phone without careful supervision. Poor Mr Baxter called this morning for his weekly chat and E actually decided she wanted to speak to him. He was told all about her tooth falling out and the fairy arriving and leaving £2 under her pillow (I know, I know, I was feeling generous!) He asked her what she was going to do with the money and after some careful thought she announced to him that she was going to buy herself some lipstick! I mean what must he think of our parenting? 💄
2. Don’t hide from your daughter when out for a walk. M had an early nap today so I had the joyous opportunity to have a 1 on 1 walk with E at lunchtime. She got herself all ready with her high heels and off we trotted. About half way round she started flagging and was randomly talking to some trees so I ended up a little ahead. There was a gap in the bush so I jumped in thinking it would be funny to scare her. It wasn’t. All I ended up with was a crying little girl who thought her Daddy had left her by herself in the middle of nowhere. Cue my self loathing and no amount of chocolate mousse when we got home could make me feel better so I gave some to her and all was well. 😢
3. Don’t leave your 1 year old in a car by himself with the car key. We were loading up to head to the bank and I strapped M in before coming back to get E. Now the little monster likes to play with the car key so I thought, what’s the harm? Well little did I know the devil would lock the car from the inside and just smile sweetly whilst I was trying to explain to him how to press the unlock button. I sent Steph to try and find the spare key but in the meantime of course the car alarm went off as the sensors are activated when it is locked. Fortunately the spare key was in the man drawer and so disaster was averted! 🔑
4. Don’t try and beat E in an argument. I have no idea where she gets it from but if you are trying to tell her something she doesn’t want to hear, she just talks over you. And she is really good at it. She just talks and talks. It’s like the best ever performance on Just A Minute. She doesn’t pause to breathe and just connects one sentence to the next even with the most tenuous of links. If I try to interrupt she just stares me down and when I stop she says “That… Daddy… was rude. I hadn’t finished and you shouldn’t interrupt!” I mean who does she think she is? 🗣
5. Always check the toilet seat before sitting down. The kids continue to enjoy a mix of showers and baths and their parents are just overjoyed that they are so clean! Now when they go in the shower I just sit on the toilet seat (lid down) to supervise and make sure nothing untoward happens. Tonight I was in my place as M was in first and E came running in counting down from 5. I quickly realised this was her standard “when I reach 0 a wee is going to come” chat so I jumped out of the way. When she was finished she got in the shower with M and I plonked myself down on the toilet. Without the lid down. I didn’t realise quite how hard I sit down but I was very nearly wedged! 🚽
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